Yesterday I celebrated the summer solstice. I watched the sun come up over the east river and dip down into the Hudson on the longest day of light.
As a light creature, the longest lit day is very important.
The symbolism to this, I suppose, is as significant as my recent bouts of silence. In a few months I’ll enter the final year of my dirty thirties. And believe me, they were quite dirty.
I don’t really believe in the whole age/time thing. But I do try to interpret experience. Why does this happen, how come I went through that? The power of change is a truly rattling concept. It’s something I thrive on and why I never stop moving.
I guess that’s why I always come back to New York City, she doesn’t stop moving. I met two Writers recently, the first two I’ve met since moving back – actually. One of them referred to Manhattan as his muse, the other one chatted with me about the necessity of ink and paper working perfectly together – depending on textures, writing instruments and paper types.
As soon as I came back to the city, close to six years ago – I walked into what became the most difficult two years of my life. Then there was a year of, “What the fuck just happened?” But for the past three, I’ve slowly (extremely slowly) settled into, and started to appreciate, what this amazing city invited me to build.
The summer solstice is what starts off a new year for me. I’ll be working from home until September, then I’ll travel somewhere. After all of the life changing and culling that has occurred amongst these pages; I’ve settled into a beautiful piece of life and world – which has kept me busy writing some of my bite-iest writing to date.
Today is one of my favorites birthdays. Being a somewhat reclusive Writer, I keep a small tight, global crowd. In New York City, I’ve got a crew of three. Brooklyn gets a special shout out in the squad, and today is his birthday.
Considering that I was dumping him around this time last year, it deserves even more merit that tonight I’ll take him to a swank midtown restaurant and likely drop around five bills.
I think part of what has made dating so weak to me is the ghost effect that seems to be the metrosexual trend of the 21st century. My husband did the same thing. And while I appreciate being left alone, there’s a unique level of disappointment accepting not only 1. I made a shit choice with questionable create but also 2. We can’t even tolerate each other enough to be civil after the fact.
Unless your Brooklyn. Then not only do we somehow manage to stay civil, we also become best friends. And while a lot of people would say, “Why aren’t you back together by now?”, the pocket full of creatures that know me never would. My artist ass just wouldn’t have it.
I’m super forgiving, I think forgiveness is important – that doesn’t mean I’m trying to get back with you. But tonight I’ll take Anthony to dinner and speak dodgy Italian to him while he drinks whiskey with a smile that shines from his eyes and shakes his head at me across the table.
I’ve learned that one of life’s greatest blessings is knowing who your people are, and who will always be around.
The favorites, I reckon.
I had to take Fronkles to the vet a few weeks ago, because something was off. When the vet asked what the issue was, I replied, “I’m not sure, but I reckon he’s been eating the bloody garbage.”
The vet, with a straight face looked at me and said, “What kind of blood was it?”
And I was like, “Wow.” Continue reading
Six months later…
I’ve never gone so long in silence since I started this webpage in 2009.
Summertime in New York City if officially upon us. I’ve spent the past few months hitting keys; having my heart broken a couple times; and plotting and scheming on the reg.
The freedom that I have and life that I managed to build here baffles me, particularly when I click around this webpage. Certain periods that I revisit feel like a literally different life to me.
Recently I renewed my lease for another twelve months. That will put my gypsy feet in this apartment for three years – which is a record for me. Aside from the house I grew up in, I’ve never been anyplace that long since I left my folks crib in the middle of the night 17 years ago. Continue reading
The past few days have been painfully divine.
I love learning. It’s one of the reasons I’ve gotten so far in my career. Learning is a job in itself. I’m not saying I retain everything I study, my father always taught me most humans are educated behind their intelligence. Continue reading