Namaste blog tribe
I still feel shit. The worst part about the crash-like low times is the literal sitting around and waiting for it to pass.
It has to pass.
One of my best friends killed himself in April. I never mentioned it in these parts because I wasn’t ready, I’m probably still not. But considering that two of my best friends have now killed themselves over depression, in the past 20 months, I can’t help but think of them both when I get this low.
Ironically, they were both who I would go to when gloominess rolls through and runs my life here and there. These days I’m blessed to still have one person I can call. But down from three, ouch.
Regardless, everyone goes through life. Still, I can’t help but wonder if either one of my mates had any idea how important they were to me, or how much they helped me so effortlessly.
I miss them both every day.
I’ve been in this cycle of two steps forward three steps back. I have this style to it though, where I make the jerky steps seem effortless. I like to think that’s what I can offer Earth. Regardless of how shit I feel, or whatever phase we all go through – I can usually paint a smile on my face and hit the street. It ain’t always easy, let me tell you. But at the end of the day, I’d rather make someone else’s temporary existence more pleasant, rather than whinge about my shit.
I NEED TO GET SOME MOVEMENT. GET OUT OF MY HEADSPACE.