affliction of affinity

he calls me. sweetie. i come. to attention.
and i forget all about you.
we exchange. dependence. methods.
and i am tired. hearing wrong things.
about me. what i do not. tell.
while you were abandoning me.
i injected. darkness. something saved.
and everyone told. offered. with no substance.
we hurt. in twin patterns. frantically. finding.
i learned. missing. from the moment he left.
new ways. you abuse me. deeper than me carving.
cuts where you never looked. he whispers bandages.
i bow to what you bestow. false shot promises.
because i learned. fear motivates more.
here. with nothing. fetal curl cry.
i return. to wrong thing tactics.
have you ever revolved? to face emptiness.
because when i finally. bothered looking.
you were already. gone. where? i could not.
lifted. tripping. i stumbled. across what will hurt.
and he picked me up. with broken arms.
while you strut. above. only. making the fall.
that. much. harder.