knee break stakes

my head jerks. left. right?
back to front.
you are supposed to be.
here is all
i have. collages of allegiance.
shut down tactics. swollen eyelid
tranquility. pieces.
you do not. cannot take. realize yet.
to much existence spent. i have been
here before. how many times
can kindness be mistaken;
retreating. reliability. i already
asked
you to go. me to vanish.
somewhere across the sky.
my obsession rests.
opposite patterns awaken.
night and day no longer
existing to anyone’s assumption.
certainty shedding. tidal laps filling my footprints
and other things you do not see.
recycling when i was stronger.
when i could walk
away.