Yesterday had many moments that sucked. It sucked when I tried to edit my anthology and became too frustrated to see; it sucked when I opened my script and couldn’t read because I had gotten myself so worked up already; and it sucked when I attempted to express my dismay as an Artist in a dramatic monologue that concluded with ‘IT’S NOT A HOBBY!!’
Something’s gotta give.
When I was in the States, I had an entire gaggle of tribal members to hold me up during my nervous breakdowns. This isn’t the case now.
I stood in my pathetic galley kitchen cutting up vegetables sobbing over the chopping board saying things to myself like, ‘Fuck it, I’m just not going to try any more.’ This is usually when people who have known you your entire life and/or other Artists & cult members in return say, ‘But what about this that you’re working on… or what about that….’
Not today blog family.
I felt very angry at the world for some reason. Upset to the degree of losing thought function.
In short… today has got to be better. And if any of you can tell me what type of Writer I am so I know what to focus on… that would be great. I’m not sure how much thought control I have in between the daydreams, but I can always try.