There are a thousand posts drifting amongst the waves of FollowMeToNYC… that’s minus the one hundred and thirty some odd I stripped because, yeah.
I suppose with all of that bloody content, I must complete my book proposal!
There are a few reasons why I haven’t finished it yet. Mainly, there was no happy ending. And I needed one. See, I believe in happy endings – a lot. I guess that’s why the two disasters I married were so tedious to manage. There was never going to be a happy ending, I never sincerely believed it for a minute with either of them.
Never the less. My un-crankiness has reached new heights and I am expanding my consciousness. It’s about time I’d say.
I was bugging for a minute.
Winter in New York City is driving most people mad as every day essentially delivers another Polar Vortex. Fronkles is still itchy and Blue Pearl still thinks I’m giving them another $600 for doing absolutely not one damn thing.
I’m trying to focus on relaxing. A mate of mine recently commented on my habit to stop breathing. I never really noticed that I hold my breathe before. I’m trying to undo that and I think it will help with my book proposal.
In addition to the nonfiction book, I’m still mulling over poetry in preparation for a “lost files” edition. Another idea I’m contemplating is a combined collection of poetry, short stories and perhaps some photos.
Oh inspiration, how I missed you so.
He has a floating way of approaching
And I lifted from the ground at first sight.
A concept of not learning but knowing,
Methods to certainty express white light.
And he… and I… in this mix of madness
Recognized memory, we both became
An extended level none can practice.
Realization that one can mean the same.
Composing symphony awakenings,
Trembling within arrival’s essence –
To understand giving without taking.
Recapture the notion of making sense.
There is a place within where he resides,
Redefinition of being alive.
Ever since one of my best friends, Nathan, killed himself 18 months ago – I simply have not been the same.
Nathan and I were on this entirely different level, you see? I wrote my first poem inspired by him, How Far Gold Extends, in 2010.
When I tell people how he did it, how Nathan stabbed himself twenty times, they cringe and say they don’t want me to talk about it. And I understand how no one would want to hear such a macrebe story. But, I guess when you’re in my position… and the only thing you see in an energy is just that… a golden violet vibration of love…
Imagining such self-inflicted atrocites becomes literally impossbile. (more…)
Dear blog family
Forgive my recent absence stint. I promise productive things have been occurring like words and wonders and entertainment and experiences. Love, lust, longing and lostness. All things that equivocate to decent writing most of the time.
I’ve tried to update web-land like four times this week. I keep getting distracted. A good friend of mine says my brain doesn’t stop and that I don’t rest, I guess I’m starting to believe him. That still doesn’t mean that I find it a bad thing, necessarily.
What I have found to be a most favorite thing this week is I’m Out by Ciara with Nicki.
We all know how I cannot resist a sexy Nicki duo, usually ever.
I love being female and when I have bouncy joy moments of liberation emotion I get inspired and make art. Regardless of my fondness of men, nothing seems to balance me out better (here and there) than some straight shot girl talk.
I prefer 3:30 – the end on the Ciara track. Oh Nicki, how I heart thee.
In other news, I painted my toes today. I read more poetry. Wrote some poetry. Daydreamed a bit and wandered around Central Park at five o’clock this morning on my way home.
Have I mentioned how centered I feel?
Love to ours cult collective.
Regular readers from way back when have likely read a rant or five about the Retreat I will open one day. I have this whole healing, creative, musical, organic farm land in mind. I think after my first marriage fell apart, I put it on the back burner. Because worse than losing a husband who was shitty to me anyways, I lost a business parter. A potential investor. (more…)