and another one bite[’]s the dust

December 6, 2014 Posted by gretchen

then another one bite[’]s the dust

i love getting
jaggedly. shoved
to a reminder that i
have this body shaping
to form. i only hope. you have

not bothered to believe forever.

i forgo(e)t. time
before we arrived,
i stood up. this t(w)(o)o.
counting became how days
went by without participate. require.

what if there was only one possible?

when? the call. dis-
ruptures. we stay moving
in a cement government. mold.
again. i refroze, literally. stopped.
lies fell like water. falls. and i was all

ready. to drown because we never felt?

the scar. of your name is risen
on layers. of skin i left. long. ago.

 

i’ve got THICK SKIN, and an ELASTIC HEART. but your(‘re) blade, it might be TOO SHARP.

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outline this. (expression)

December 6, 2014 Posted by gretchen

outline this. (expression)

i moved inside. midnight. like touching: i…
walked and resided to find roaming. that
discovery… that this physical try
incapably accommodates my… what…
do you know anyone… who pushed… so… hard…
never learned to walk. i saturate. drift.
my memories born within. crystal shards.
broken, sharp outline. you fold to resist.
making shapes. we enlighten reflection.
seasonal turns. of what i must produce:
eliminate need. cut. out. injection.
like you can’t get beyond. a broken noose:
i stopped. telling. effort to make… aware.
gasping for words. the way humans breathe. air.

 

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#poembomb TWO… bobbing along

December 5, 2014 Posted by gretchen

Namaste tribe collectiveIMG_6288

Yesterday was another day of #poembomb ing the city. Such a small gesture is ideally turning heads to a few fresh wonders like, “poetry! i should go write some…”; “innovation! are they allowed to hang that there?; or “ha! look at these silly artists… they’re always up to something…”

Needless to say, this harmless emotion emulsion has been cheering me up for days in ways I haven’t felt for a few months. So that’s quite wonderful.

We’ll probably #poembomb some of the eastside today. Shout out if you see us! I’m hoping to see #poembomb s pop up everywhere eventually. Worldwide, naturally. Intergalacticly, perhaps.

I’m stoked to have an interview for a potential Writer gig today. IMG_6285Since stepping into this “in between jobs” period, I’ve mainly been finishing my novel, getting all the fresh air my lungs can contain, and starting a writing agency on the side – in between #poembomb ing. It’s been a broke, albeit fruitful five weeks.

New York City is oozing Christmas and everything smells like pine. The tree is lit, the ice skaters are out, and from what I hear – snow is coming next week.

… nooooooooo.

I’ve been quite enjoying stepping back and forth between Connecticut and New York City these past few weeks. To me, it’s the most beautiful part of the States – the diversity of the country’s rolling hills with one of this planet’s cultural centers a train-ride away.

As much as I am Ugh about winter, being locked inside with words and hot coffee for a while doesn’t sound too bad.

Like I say every day, things could always be worse.

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#poembomb

December 3, 2014 Posted by gretchen

IMG_6197To cheer me up during a somewhat solemn period, I was blessed to have a companion accompany me yesterday to #poembomb New York City. This entailed copying some book pages and scampering around Manhattan to share some of the words that have held my bones together over the years.

We swooped through subway stations; around the east and west IMG_6215village; down to Tribeca and back uptown. I’ve ranted in the past that being heard is more enticing than being published. Yesterday, I’m pretty sure I was heard; at least by a handful of my fellow few million inhabitants roaming around this island. And this is just the beginning, we’re going to carry-on with the #poembomb antics here forward.

Being in this transitional in-between job period is super eye-opening. I’m learning a lot about myself. It’s wild being a balanced Writer. Balanced, to me, IMG_6159means I can write quarterly commentary for Chiefs on Wall Street in between short story / novel / poetry-ville… and also speeches for top politicians and presidents of boards.

It’s bizarre that the fact that I dabble in both professional and raw words intimidates some job prospects. It’s hard for a small crowd of creatures to accept that, yes, while I do enjoy a bite-your-face line most of the time – I can also blow dry my hair straight and be as conservative as is required to deliver a particular barrel of messages.IMG_6190

At the end of the day, to me, personally – it makes more sense to support myself writing for a business. This is a clearly defined requirement. My job is consultant, I’m told what’s needed to be written – I produce. Creatively, my process doesn’t work this way. Creatively… I never know how I’ll process a day. But one thing stands strong and true, I’ll always express myself in my own time, however I choose.

Interestingly, this makes me risky according to some places of work. Simply because, most organizations aren’t used to employing someone capable of satisfying such drastically different sides… I think that makes me an Entrepreneur.

Back to job applying, book writing and poem bombing. Praise Goddess for the life I live. Regardless of how I sook… I never lose site of how lucky I really, really am.

 

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full circle

November 29, 2014 Posted by gretchen

It occurred to me today while I was desperately seeking my next Writer gig while simultaneously throwing up in my mouth – I’ve really come full circle.

I kicked off this adventure determined to get to New York City and independently support myself writing. Miraculously, I did that. I did it to the extent where I could even pay for my own apartment smack center in midtown Manhattan… something I never imagined I could do alone.

Then, as fate has it, everything was pulled out from under me. According to FullSizeRender-4my calculations, I’ve got about 90 days for something to pop. After that, life as I know it will essentially self-destruct.

I’m trying to embrace the chaos. Truth be told, if I didn’t have the puppies in tow – I’d be on the next flight back to Australia. However, this whole grown-up / responsibility thing simply won’t allow for that right now.

Having co-existed in a marriage for as long as I did, doing everything alone is hard. Generally speaking, I’m much better off than I was with an emotionally abusive husband. But I could certainly do without being snowed under in rent  checks, power bills and all the rest of the lot.

Ce la vi…

So I’m basically back where I started. Except home-base in the city is in full effect. This is helpful. My plan is to alternate between job applying and creative writing spinning. Back and forth back and forth.

Life is a bit of whirlwind at the moment. But I guess if it wasn’t, it wouldn’t be my life. I’m just focussing on staying positive and keeping my head above water. One day I’m sure I’ll look back at this phase and think, “Damn, that was a pretty close call…”

 

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    FollowMeToNYC expresses daily thoughts of Gretchen Cello that tend to change with the tides. Naturally these concepts do not reflect those of her employer... or anyone else you may see her walking down the sidewalk with one day.
 
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