Ever since one of my best friends, Nathan, killed himself 18 months ago – I simply have not been the same.
Nathan and I were on this entirely different level, you see? I wrote my first poem inspired by him, How Far Gold Extends, in 2010.
When I tell people how he did it, how Nathan stabbed himself twenty times, they cringe and say they don’t want me to talk about it. And I understand how no one would want to hear such a macrebe story. But, I guess when you’re in my position… and the only thing you see in an energy is just that… a golden violet vibration of love…
Imagining such self-inflicted atrocites becomes literally impossbile. (more…)
Dear blog family
Forgive my recent absence stint. I promise productive things have been occurring like words and wonders and entertainment and experiences. Love, lust, longing and lostness. All things that equivocate to decent writing most of the time.
I’ve tried to update web-land like four times this week. I keep getting distracted. A good friend of mine says my brain doesn’t stop and that I don’t rest, I guess I’m starting to believe him. That still doesn’t mean that I find it a bad thing, necessarily.
What I have found to be a most favorite thing this week is I’m Out by Ciara with Nicki.
We all know how I cannot resist a sexy Nicki duo, usually ever.
I love being female and when I have bouncy joy moments of liberation emotion I get inspired and make art. Regardless of my fondness of men, nothing seems to balance me out better (here and there) than some straight shot girl talk.
I prefer 3:30 – the end on the Ciara track. Oh Nicki, how I heart thee.
In other news, I painted my toes today. I read more poetry. Wrote some poetry. Daydreamed a bit and wandered around Central Park at five o’clock this morning on my way home.
Have I mentioned how centered I feel?
Love to ours cult collective.
Regular readers from way back when have likely read a rant or five about the Retreat I will open one day. I have this whole healing, creative, musical, organic farm land in mind. I think after my first marriage fell apart, I put it on the back burner. Because worse than losing a husband who was shitty to me anyways, I lost a business parter. A potential investor. (more…)
Namaste tribal cult of blog
I spent the weekend getting my read on. For the first time, I obtained hard copies of Poetry Volume 2 and 3. I ‘m about half way through volume two. Needless to say, it hurts. However I am happy to finally reach a point, two years after it came out, where I can fold open the spine and say, “Damn. All of that happened.”
Naturally I’ve already found formatting quirks and other ickies that will require further attention. I figure if someone is going to put me on their bookshelf, at least I can pretty up the product.
Something interesting I’ve learned since I started publishing poetry is that when I discus my writing with people, they’re happy to talk novel, short story or the executive writing I do by day. Once I mention the poetry books, all I usually get are nervous shifts and averted eye contact. (more…)
Namaste blog tribe
I’ve been writing a lot of poetry lately. On that note, I traveled over to Lulu land to order some of my books and actually read them. I’m considering a “Lost Years” volume.
Anyways, I giggled and blushed when I realized that I sold a few books in December. So shout out to the lovers that put my pages on their shelf.
It is bloody freezing in New York City. I nearly froze walking to work yesterday, there’s a 50% 50% chance I will today. It’s 10F, -12C. Why would anyone go outside when it’s -12C?
Alas, I digress. Like I was saying, poetry.
deviation of desire
this distraction was never permanent.
not when her shoes were still in the closet.
a careless but meaningful sentiment,
like not needing something but wanting it.
you cried about how pretty ugly is,
it’s not about this. it’s not about her.
i never assumed there would be a quiz,
and most of our time turned into a blur.
unoccupied spirits like falling cards
merge into each other on city streets.
whatever doesn’t stick will soon discard,
release meaningless or accept defeat.
without gravity hearts cannot stay here,
a steadfast awareness of disappear.