how we keep (stay)
you see. when he
and i combine it
is like tidal wave
pulling and pushing
and grabbing and
wet. i stay. remain
starts to be a style.
my midtown hips
his brooklyn hits;
when we are t(w)o-
gether. gathering rise
and sets. methods
i keep him. sun up,
sun down. cyclic
circle moving each
time he slaps in-
side with just me.
we stay. private.
with one. remaining.
“Got some dirt on my shoulder, could you brush it off for me?”
potential of possibility
he came and went. this style. of existence.
not knowing my stance that… everyone leaves.
i stopped my heart before it could commence;
rejecting this world for what i believe.
if he sees one truth, then let it be me.
his pieces snapped in. my kaleidoscope
gaze. he stared into me. what does he see?
endeavoring to mask my faith. my hope…
in my headspace walls, none of it matters.
i have rainbows of ways to deal and cope;
perceiving days as chaos and chatter.
looking around to only see absent.
with claws still dug in that some things are meant.
Another birthday is upon us blog family! I’m hiding in the country with my folks – writing stories, laying low. Thinking about this southern gentleman that doesn’t seem to leave my thoughts.
I’ve had the most wonderful day. I’ve been lying in the grass, writing poems, interacting with tribal members worldwide.
I must say, out of all the countries and continents that I was blessed to receive birthday love from… nothing beats the call from one of my favorite Aussie family members/soulmates which concluded with, “HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!”
My smile stretched and heart ached.
Today, I spent my birthday with my parents and learned a new story. When my parents told my father’s father, Papa, that they named me Gretchen – he was very excited.
“I always wanted to name one of my children Gretchen, my wife wouldn’t let me.”
Before I left Australia, on my way back to New York City, my Papa delivered messages through other mediums. I loved hearing from him again today. Regardless of being born during his life, he passed away before I ever physically reached him. Every trace of connection between the two of us is sacred.
I am so elated to be in the country. The stars pop brighter, the moon is bigger, the world gets quieter – thoughts become more clear.
I’m going to spend the next few days lying in the sun, spinning words. Year 36, here I come.
the way that we (started)
the first night. he was in my bed. i blinked –
a 3am stir. my discovery
painted my immunity in fresh ink.
snapped look connection. our recovery.
a cool tail of summer brushing our skin,
swimming in oceans, playing in gardens –
uncertainty perishes. now. begins.
what falseness presents, fate always pardons.
rolling shoulders as a way to lighten
up. my focus rose and set. on master
manifestation. the way he heightens
my world, time stops. eradicate faster.
i awoke next to someone. blue eyed dream.
return to realize. unravel seams.
So… I just had the best weekend of my life. Hands down. I danced to this in my living room when I got out of bed before. I haven’t even had coffee yet.
this. six foot, something, southern skateboarder
showed up. again after i say… forfeit.
initial resist. fuzz and disorder.
he owned this gift; eradicate torment.
forte pulse. piano words. i unfolded
around him. environment of one. choice.
we closed the door. and both… repaired broken,
he spread me out to discover my voice;
we filled each other’s world, then, disappeared.
i stretched beside an open window i
filled my lungs with city; swearing him near.
late night calls. sideways looks. 4am cries.
a new life texture. to sway and reside.
devouring time until he’s inside.