When I first saw you, you were standing in Tullamarine airport, holding a two pound hunk of rose quartz. Prior to my focus landing on your salt water locks and rainforest stare, the stranger I flew 10,000 miles to familiarize with, to remember, a school of other thoughts raced through my mind.
Tullamarine? Really? I’m from New York… we only speak Kennedy.
My head hurts. Is it from 23 hours with flight attendants? Or 23 hours without narcotics?
No one knows where I am right now. And I’m never going back. Not ever.
Southern hemisphere atmosphere sticks to your skin differently than being up north. Hot Christmases and summer vacations in February. I felt claustrophobic, like I wanted to wipe it off. I felt lost without the perpetual prickle of skyscraper shade. I never left New York City before.
What was I doing in Australia? Continue reading
Dear Blog Family
If there’s one thing to say about our cult, we’re loyal. Most of the visitors to these parts are feed subscribers – so I can’t really bluff about when I’m here and not here. Continue reading
My husband pawned his wedding ring for $275 two months after I gave it to him. He drank the money and fell asleep on Avenue B. When he came home the next day, he lied about everything. He lied about where the ring was. He lied about the drinking.
He lied. Again.
I tenderly removed my ring and tucked it in the silk-lined box I saved after purchasing the set I couldn’t afford. The money he took from a grey-eyed woman with sweaty hands was nowhere near what I paid. What I’m still paying back.
A week after it occurs, I realize I can no longer keep a piece of jewelry that bears no meaning. My therapist says my fear of rejection is what caused it all.
“You are too forgiving,” she said brushing wispy bangs from her face. “You’re the most forgiving person I know.”
I came to New York City to fade into the streets after I lost my soul mate in Australia because of a fatal accident. People always tell you that accidents happen. They leave out the statistics of people who actual survive them.
My Soul Mate is an unfortunate statistic. I am starting to understand that I am too. That he and I always have been. It’s part of who we are. Continue reading
I came across this piece from 2003 today, written after I left the city for what would end up being a year, or nine…
I left New York City. It was the day after a spider-legged woman stepped out of a stretch limousine, nearly tripped over a homeless man, and entered into an exhibit in SOHO to decide what starving painter she would feed with her dead husband’s money. The owners of the studio seemed so pleased with the turn out.
My shoulders rolled. To a back crack
Today. For the first time. I thought
Of you. And him. And life. And me.
A solution of we. That you were never
Part of. Belief in one life. Was
Not good enough for your standard.
He arrived. Strong hands. Carved back. Honest
Like everything. You think you are
Above. I rose. And fell. I skinned
Knees. Elbows. Shins. Soul. While
You allowed and gloated within how
Tender my scrapes stay. And he kisses
Every broken piece.