the world & words of a new york city writer

gretchen is a writer in new york city

Tag: connecticut (page 1 of 13)

face kicks. life licks.

The past week-ish hiding in the forest immensely helped my head. The roughly 14 days that led up to this particular stint was head spinning to say the least. A lot of life-culling has been taking place behind the scenes.

Regardless of consciously projecting love to whatever’s around me at any given time, I keep a small click close. When I’m not deliberately breaking my phone, there’s usually about six numbers in it.

It’s not that I’m misanthropic, it just happens that the worst I ever get hurt is off the back of human behavior. So rather than expose myself to the risk at close-hand, I admire from a far and silently blow gold kisses that I hope contribute to the creation of a higher state.

I’m steadying from a throat slit that came from left field. It was an inadvertent slash from one of the most wonderful people I have ever met. For a minute, I believed it was a divine addition to the soul circle keeping me together. The ones I share the best secrets with.

The person I fell in love with left as fast as they appeared. I shed tears and wrote a poem. I guess that’s what I usually do.

Killed Commitment

my heart
collapsed
at the hit
from one
voice. declaration
and detraction
like i cannot
be any part
of my truth —
crushed another
way of false.
i wished
he knew
we shared
the same
scar.

 

city to sticks. back around.

Namaste loyal readers & cult affiliates

I’ve been in the sticks for a lush three days. I’m staying indefinitely through mid-Septemberish. I’m certain a city sway will occur sporadically, New York City is irresistible on any day – summer is entirely something else.

A friend of mine smiled at me a couple of weeks ago and said, “I’m glad you’re from the country.” Continue reading

preliminary writer. i see you april.

Namaste blog tribe

IMG_7942_2It’s been just around three months since I’ve been outside of New York City – nearly five months since my wonderful Writer job took a dive and sent me all sorts of places from a farm upstate to the woods of north-west Connecticut.

And it’s all about to change… Continue reading

thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone celebrating it today! It’s my sixth Thanksgiving in IMG_5992blog-ville and when I think of how my life has turned inside out during this period, it’s a bit startling.

Five years ago, I celebrated with my whole family nearly. Last year, I was out in Colorado with my best friend of over 30 years. This year, it’s just me, my parents and one of my four siblings.

I guess I should say three siblings, considering how I had to disown one of my sisters over the past two years.

In any event, my number one motivation coming back to the states after a decade away was to be with my parents. So sharing today with them is the blessing that I am most thankful for.

FullSizeRenderIt snowed yesterday. Being in the country is a peaceful retreat compared to my present New York City state of… “I need a job… I need to finish my book… need this, need that.”

All I need to do today is enjoy my parents, my sister and naturally – the puppies.

Nothing repairs me like coming to my parents place. New York City remains a top lover, of course. But the peace I find in Connecticut is something beyond words. The past seven months have been the most challenging I’ve seen since coming back. This shocks me in itself, because after addressing the trauma from my divorce, I really didn’t think things could get out of control again.

I have a companion staying with me in Manhattan to make sure I’m steady on my feet. He is the other element of life I am most thankful for today.

Love to you, yours and ours blog family. I’m thankful for all of you that check in on this journey we share. When I started this so many years back now, who knew where I’d end up. Thank you for being here too. Here’s to countless more blessings. x

BIRTHDAY!

Another birthday is upon us blog family! I’m hiding in the country with my folks – me78writing stories, laying low. Thinking about this southern gentleman that doesn’t seem to leave my thoughts.

I’ve had the most wonderful day. I’ve been lying in the grass, writing poems, interacting with tribal members worldwide.

I must say, out of all the countries and continents that I was blessed to receive birthday love from… nothing beats the call from one of my favorite Aussie family members/soulmates which concluded with, “HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!”

My smile stretched and heart ached.

36Today, I spent my birthday with my parents and learned a new story. When my parents told my father’s father, Papa, that they named me Gretchen – he was very excited.

“I always wanted to name one of my children Gretchen, my wife wouldn’t let me.”

Before I left Australia, on my way back to New York City, my Papa delivered messages through other mediums. I loved hearing from him again today. Regardless of being born during his life, he passed away before I ever physically reached him. Every trace of connection between the two of us is sacred.

I am so elated to be in the country. The stars pop brighter, the moon is bigger, the world gets quieter – thoughts become more clear.

I’m going to spend the next few days lying in the sun, spinning words. Year 36, here I come.

 

Older posts
Content Protected Using Blog Protector By: PcDrome.