After a few day hiatus where I filed down jagged life pieces, chopped up smooth ones and found ways to click and jab them all back together again…
Here I am. I apologize to anyone I frightened and appreciate the love that poured in with phrases like, “Oh my God! Did your site crash?” “Darling, are you ok?” And “I love reading your blog, I hope you’re alright.”
It was the first time in 54 months that I took down my web playground. There are a few reasons around it, nothing I feel like getting into right now.
In other news, the lovers are still nesting in my Hell’s Kitchen abode. I’ve been going on stacks of interviews. This Tuesday, I actually have four in one day. All at the same place. I’m pretty sure if my shine is bright enough, it’s my official train ticket back into town.
Nesting on a farm for five minutes had its moments, but obviously – New York City is the only place for me, when it comes to the U.S. If I want to find somewhere far away and quiet, I’ll go back to northern Australia.
There’s a life Manhattan makes for me that I couldn’t see clearly over the past 36 months for a few reasons. I went from one garbage relationship straight into another one, I dealt with two of my best friends committing suicide and then there’s the ugly “that happened” incident I’m not allowed to talk about.
I’ve come out stronger. I knew I was strong before, and I knew I was independent. But it wasn’t until the most recent upside down flipping of my world that both of these things carried me long enough to gain my true appreciation.
I had a legitimate conversation with someone about work today. Not a “hide from life” situation… a legitimate job.
Earlier today, I was on the phone with my best friend of 32 years. We both agreed, ever since I got back to this country three and a half years ago… I haven’t been me. We even went a step further to say, whoever I might be was consumed by a stranger I married 12 years ago. Continue reading
So I’ve been invisible a few days: editing, editing, editing. Usually, I immensely dislike editing. I look forward to when I am finally a sought-after creative word slinger with editors falling at my feet.
I need one.
Alas, being out of the city and working on Book has shifted how I think and work in wonderful ways. I’ve made it through 100 pages so far. It took me three days straight, and my lover having to cop more than his share of, “Shhhh! I’m working! HUSH!”
In other news, my blah-g has officially reached OVER THREE MILLION READS. It took about five years, madness.
I’ll have a really bitchin book to dig super soon… that one I’ve been on about doing since like, 2009.
A big problem I have with editing my work is my literal obsession over each word and sentence. Being a Poet who also writes fiction and narrative work, I find the different voices weave together in a way I feel is proudly unique to my writing. But sometimes, I find these overly esoteric phrases slipping into a story where they don’t quite jive.
Hopefully the next 200 pages is a little smoother. I’m trying to be easier on mySelf.
The fact that I worked Wall Street corporate aside, offices, in general, to me – are no bueno. The whole hunched over glowing screen in between moving from table to desk. This chair to that one…
It’s just not good for you.
I also don’t think it’s good working on someone else’s clock. On my own schedule, I wake up around 4/4.30am and go to sleep at 9. Considering I get to work from home now, it’s even better since those earliest hours are my most productive.
Don’t get me wrong, I have worked in some of the most beautiful offices in Manhattan and Melbourne. That doesn’t mean I want to be there eight hours a day.
I got a text message from one of my best mate’s earlier that said: So, I thought you were on holidays. Apparently, you moved and didn’t tell anyone.
I suppose in a way I did. I have to re-tally my moving statistics. It’s wonderful to be able to focus exclusively on my creative work, in between patting the llama and cuddling with goats.
The book is going sharp and bite-y. Just how I prefer it. Goddess willing this one will be done by the end of this New England winter.
I haven’t even mentioned how freezing it is…
ps. apologies for photo sharing delays lately. i’ve developed a love/hate relationship with patchy service.
FollowMeToNYC is a creative processing ground which expresses individual ideas that often change with the tides. Naturally, these ideas do not reflect those of any of my employers, or anyone else you might see me wandering down the street with one day.