the world & words of a new york city writer

gretchen is a writer in new york city

Tag: love (page 11 of 50)

aspiring amore

aspiring amore

I was. Thinking in poetry again.
Green-blue constellation eyes. Staring. Back.
I inhaled now and stopped wishing for when.
I straightened my spine and felt my bones crack.
A bounce in my step and new aura glow;
Like there’s no longer a possible stop.
And never invention of the word no.
The expansion of my heart. Stomach drop.
What I didn’t say came out through my pores.
Sunlight showers washing my grey sky days.
Opening windows and taking down doors.
Reinvention of love, finding new ways.
His puzzle piece body completes my spread –
A hydrated desert. Appetite fed.

cause your sex takes me to paradise

I’ve been working two full-time jobs lately. One writing, one falling in love. And as much joy that I take in being a professional Writer… the second job is why I’ve been so scarce.

I actually took the D train to Brooklyn for the first time the this week. Anthony and I decided this is a more practical choice from time to time opposed to an $80 return cab fare. Although, as my boyfriend puts it, “40 bucks each way to get us to each other in twenty minutes is nothing.” The subway is an hour.

IMG_2867I’ve never had an official boyfriend. It’s really fun. He always asks, “Do you need money?” when another car adventure comes; he brings me flowers every time it’s his turn to visit Manhattan; I wear his clothes everywhere; he’s a gentleman, always.

If I don’t marry this man, I’ll be shocked. Certainly it wouldn’t be the first shock I’ve endured – but it would definitely be one of the greatest.

I’ve never looked in anyone’s eyes and actually witnessed my future before. The way he speaks to me, looks at me and silently dwells around me is the greatest level of divinity I’ve experienced. It’s like ever single element in my life came together.

We talk about my writing a lot. He’s always encouraging me to submit something IMG_2903somewhere and I’m always contesting that no great Writer ever gets known before we croak. I told him how proud I was of myself when I got my first business card to officially say Writer on it and he concurred.

I’ll post some fresh creative work soon. It’s been spilling in inky rivers for three weeks now. Something about the perfection in the balance of finding who you’ll be with forever has returned to me…

And it has been a really, really fucking long time.

I’ll be bouncing around Anthony’s apartment later, wearing one of his garments, bopping to this:

“Your sex takes me to paradise…”

Finally.

open a book. turn the page.

For the past 11 months, my notebooks have been in a suitcase locked away. Not the ones that are in my handbag filled with blue ink, of course. But my history.

I took such an emotional and psychological beating over a three year period, that I shut off one of the most important parts of me. Sure there’s a lot of my words floating around here on this site, but they aren’t inky.

Ink is and will always be what flows through my veins. My blood line. For awhile my life really dried up, for reasons too vast to phrase.

Considering I was married when I was 25 until close to 35, my adult life was really fueled byIMG_2831 a relationship. My ex-husband never understood how he impacted my word art. He never gave a shit, to be frank, which is just another reason I left him 10,000 miles behind me.

The collection of tepid lovers I’ve acquired over the past few sets of months may have inspired a poem or story, nothing earth shattering. Certainly nothing soul shaking.

Then, about three weeks ago, I met someone who completely changed my life. I don’t stop thinking about him. I tap my fingers and bop my toes thinking of where we’ll go next; what flowers I’ll bring him; the sound of his voice or spark of his touch.

And finally, this morning, I opened my suitcase of notebooks. First, I cried. Not a lot, just a little. Then I called Anthony to tell him what he inspired of my morning.

I can’t even begin to get into what’s in these books. Aside from my literal life from about 2001 forward, the poetry and stories and ideas are some of my personal favorites. I simply flipped a few pages here and there. I know how my weekend will be spent.

Praises to all things divine for finally turning my page. It’s been years. I couldn’t be more grateful.

my hot boyfriend

There’s an ongoing joke between my people and I about my ex husband collection. How I never date, I just get married. I think the last time I had a boyfriend was in high school. So now, finally, at 37 years old – I have a boyfriend. An exceptionally hot boyfriend, in fact.

My boyfriend’s parents are from Italy, he has four siblings like I do and he’s quite fond of the puppies. He and I have plenty of jokes about how I’ve been to Brooklyn more times in the past three weeks than I have in my entire life.

Literally.

My hot boyfriend prefers whiskey and smokes two packs a day. He talks to me on the phone for hours. He usually calls me four or five times a day. He never texts, and I love that. Sometimes I feel texting is the final demise of language art.

Although I have sent a few ripper texts in my time…

My boyfriend’s name is Anthony. We have the same taste in music. He opens doors and pulls out chairs. He’ll probably read this one day and it will make me blush. I wear his clothes and the secrets between us are so tightly squeezed between my lips that they increase my blood pressure and make my heart beat faster.

And faster.

Anthony is my favorite boy. His essence of everything startles me into silent smiles which he often replies to with, “Everything good, doll?” with this Brooklyn-Italian twang that makes me pant.

The stories and the poetry have kept me completely occupied in ink. We’ve already joked about marriage in a very serious way.

Lucky number three.

But enough of all that talk. Aside from falling in love, being in love and yearning for this piece of perfection that the Universe finally decided it’s time to deliver, I’ve been listening to this:

brooklyn. still.

Last Friday night I tossed the puppies in a cab and zoomed off to Brooklyn to see someone I haven’t stopped thinking about since the day we met.

I got home Monday morning.

IMG_2634My heart was caged for a long time. I’ve galavanted around briefly with a few suitors, written some poems, fallen in love with the idea of falling in love – over and over.

However, happily, I can finally say that I’m in a place past words. Most of my words recently are being oozed in ink over blank page notebooks or into love letters for a man who is nothing like anyone I have ever known.

Last weekend was magical. I wore beaded bangle bracelets and we strolled up and down the Cony Island boardwalk. We ate oysters and swapped stories. Continue reading

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