the world & words of a new york city writer

gretchen is a writer in new york city

Tag: men (page 2 of 3)

out and about. autumn.

img_7627With Halloween a week away, I spent the weekend watching scary movies in the theatre; wearing orange articles of clothing; and eating caramel apples. There was also dancing, a lot of food – and three of my favorite people. Continue reading

banter. boyfriends. blocking.

So, I started this webpage as a wife of nine years and have spun more boys through the past five than I can img_7412count. It’s usually terribly boring, and, until recently – I didn’t take any of it to heart, really.

However, there have been one or two times when a man in my life finds out about FollowMeToNYC. This is fine and everything, but not after we stop talking.

If I know someone personally, and we stop talking, and the person continues to come around here to see what’s popping – I classify them as a creep.

Go away. Continue reading

“i’m pretty, but i’m loco…”

Namaste love family

TGIF bitches… this week has been as equally horrible as the preceding.

I’ve been writing a lot of poetry¬†over the past 48 hours. I wouldn’t say it’s helping, but at least it’s distracting.

I pride myself on not taking anything that matters to me lightly. The trick is picking what to take on as significant while spending time on the perplexing planet of Earth that we share. Regardless, we all make our own choices. Continue reading

from brooklyn to italy

I’ve been vacant a few days. This has resulted in a couple of interesting things. I shook my boyfriend off once and for all. I tried to be upset, but I’m used to dumping boyfriends by now.

I’m not even sure if these people are boyfriends. Maybe they’re just lovers I briefly obsess over because I’m fond of the poetry it all bleeds. Continue reading

because i suck at this

IMG_3530I don’t have a boyfriend again. After we spent four days making up, I had an anxiety attack this afternoon and told him we shouldn’t see each other.

This is upsetting for a spectrum of reasons. However, I feel myself retreating to the safety of where I cut the world off and fall into a meditative state of complete nothingness.

There are a lot of reasons I suck at being a girlfriend. However, I find my greatest issue in feigning relationships with the human species is the anthropomorphic perception of time.

I’m hard and fast. Life is short, experience is precious. If I start having experiences with someone, like I had with Anthony recently, for example, or even the Frenchman – I can’t comprehend why these experiences don’t occur as frequently as possible.

As much as I’m in love with being in love, I also feel like love is a fucking joke and probably not in the cards for me this walk around. I take “in or out” to a manic level that most Earth dwellers cannot comprehend.

It’s pushing four in the morning. I’m drinking vodka sodas, looking at the east river out my IMG_3544window and blasting Elastic Heart in my ears. I’m not sure why I do these things that pull my heart strings to a vague sense of torture.

Sometimes I think it’s because I’ll never heal from my marriage breakdown. I certainly won’t as long as I keep spending time with people who only give a shit about me on their clock.

I don’t want to change anything about mySelf. I’d like to stop trying to find someone to love though. It’s not even like I’m stomping streets trying to find it. It’s just that when I meet someone who is extremely special to me, I take it too seriously.

I’m going to try to stop doing that.

 

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