Blood relationships mean nothing in the scheme of things.
The more my father spoke to me. The less I listened. He became frustrated. Assertive. He interrupted my thoughts one afternoon.
I cannot help you if you will me not to. I will never stop trying. This attempt is complete.
The three of us have ancient history. You and I are meant to have a child. Two centuries ago our child was kidnapped. Murdered. Neither one of us overcame the devastation. We have lived so many lives together since then.
What is masked as an esoteric education is simply a powerful memory.
And you remember too. Continue reading
Many of my most valuable lessons have come during meditation. You are not the type to meditate. You think it’s a waste of time and suppose all to know comes about during daily routines.
I am fiercely disciplined.
If I did not choose to balance daily happenings, life would be chaos. You wouldn’t mind that though. You find something romantic about chaos. You’ve told me that on more than one occasion.
You and I are different in some ways. So different.
My father continued speaking to me.
Take better care of yourself. We have awaited this moment.
He started appearing in my dreams. Continue reading
Accepting it does not solve matters, as one might assume.
Shortly after I left Anthony’s, I was more confident than ever before. Contrary to constructing assurance, this broke down everything I wanted to believe.
Deep down, I always wished to be normal.
I accepted this would never be. I realized complete surrender was my only chance of survival. This was a difficult task for me. Certainly you have heard the common saying, “The truth will set you free.”
I could not imagine a more deceitful phrase. Continue reading
the hanged man
Our business brought psychological comfort to myself, Anthony and our clients. When Anthony could tell that I had accepted mediumship he asked me a question that altered me all over, “Do you know who it is that you’re hearing?”
I wanted to tell you in a different way…
It was my father.
Anthony supported this fact with more details. He taught me about guides, unseen spirits. “They come and go you know,” he preached. “You don’t have the same one all of the time. Your father has always been in and out of your life, you could always tell, I’m sure.”
He was right. Continue reading
You must know that I wanted to chase you. Follow you off the train. Tell that dreadful red-head beckoning you to seek other interests.
Tell you all of this then.
But that was impossible. Too many consequences.
I was concerned you might mistake my keen balance of emotion and rationality as being phlegmatic. I sent you three dozen long stem roses with no card. When you asked the red-head who sent them, you received a bashful smile and eye-blink in return.
Knowing that didn’t make me jealous. I am not a jealous person.
Do you understand our history in this city yet?
I wanted to tell you sooner. Continue reading