the world & words of a new york city writer

gretchen is a writer in new york city

Tag: sorrow (page 3 of 11)

day 14. just barely.

Well, this weekend sucked – like last weekend. I slept as much as I could. I was invited out, I declined.

The only thing I want, is the luthier. Continue reading

day eleven. i hate everything.

I’m hanging on by a thread blog tribe.

Right now I’m listening to Vinicio Capossela. I spent the morning wandering around the east river and exchanging a few “we will always be together” messages.

Saremo sempre insieme…

I moped around my apartment. I’ll go to work soon.

Work is actually helping. I’m all about distraction as a coping mechanism, huge fan.

Meanwhile, my heart has copped a historic beating. The weekend was beyond terrible. I don’t really feel like doing anything besides counting days. That’s essentially what I’ve been doing. Counting days and studying Italian. Hopefully I can speak a few licks when I leave.

In another 19 dreadful days. Continue reading

day eight.

It’s about three am. There’s a reason I haven’t been around for four days.

I’ve spent most of the time feeling bad for myself, generally self-loathing. Some of this behavior I put back to my non-traditional upbringing. Most of it I put to the fact that the absence of the love of my life has me slowly suffocating.

Considering that I have never been in a relationship of a comparable capacity, with any man, my entire life… prior to now – it’s safe to say nothing like this has been mentioned in my corner of web-land over the past close to nine years.

Dudes, that’s like a decade of my life. Continue reading

day four. what you miss.

I miss coffee in the morning. I miss watching him roll cigarettes. I miss waking up next to him, which is crazy because I usually refuse to sleep next to anyone, generally speaking.

I miss how my heart drops the second I see him after being apart. I miss kissing him goodbye at the subway.

There’s something therapeutic to me about obsession. People fuck love up all the time. To me, having a lover to keep comes down to one major factor: obsession. Continue reading

here i go (again)

Namaste blog tribe

IMG_3955So I’m leaving for Australia via Tahiti in about seven hours. I’m not packed. I woke up in tears. I don’t want to go, but I do want to go.

I have to go. Continue reading

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