the fool

I want you to know everything. From the beginning. I want to tell you how I dangled my toes over a cliff; once off a cracked building ledge; twice on the edge of a half tipped chair.

See there is nothing I fear about starts. Finishes are an illusion I often dread, this idea of completion. Do you believe in endings?

The first time I saw you was on a crowded Manhattan subway. When you were rushed away, I knew we would be together. That night in your bed, on your balcony, on your kitchen table…

I tried to tell you.

We are a small but clever group with no consideration of consequence. Certainly if I imagined an inability to handle something unknown, I would have never waited for you like I have been.

I have been waiting for you for an extraordinarily long time. There are no logical reasons for me to be revealing all of this to you. You will come to realize rules of logic do not apply to some collections.

Like where I belong.

Telling you all of this will hurt me. What do you understand about karma? All of my lives I step forward in fashion that reflects a youthful naivety.

Is that what attracted you to me in the first place?

I want to somehow break the cycle. Say things I was never meant to say.

I hope you will listen closely.