Relationships knock me all over the place. I let them. I’ve said it before, sometimes I think I just like the hit. Like, I’ve had to overcome so much emotional hardship in my 37 years, maybe I’m addicted to that strength. Sometimes I wonder if I make things more difficult than they should be just to beat what I get myself into.
There are no words for how overjoyed I am about the weather in New York City recently. I’m a light creature, sun and heat matter. While I’m a fan of seasons, and autumn in New England is certainly my FAVORITE time… I always do the best in sunlight. Moonlight helps, but the golden glow of a summer sky is where I try to stay.
Every day one of my mantras is, “Just let things happen as they’re meant.” Sometimes, when I get kicked in the face, I’m all – “Seriously, this is how things are supposed to happen?” But at the end of the day, my understanding of “Yeah, that actually had to occur” is the only thing getting me through.
I don’t know any other women, personally, who are as independent as me. I realize they exist, we just haven’t connected yet. Sometimes getting beat down makes you reassess what’s around you and become more appreciative.
My mother raised me to be thankful every day for what I have, that’s been ingrained in me. Still, Earth is a horrible land of nonsensical mysteries. While I appreciate the pocket I hide in, there’s a very particular guilt I hold being able to experience the freedom I have considering how completely fucked the world is.
Water dancing helps me handle it all. Relationships also hold a unique role to how I process life in these parts.
Go kiss someone…