In the midst of the fuzziness from looking around, taking in what I can, putting on my track shoes, and preparing to sprint… I inhaled deeply today.

I held my breath and made a wish. I would tell you what I wished for, but then it wouldn’t come true. And as hardcore cult members, I’m sure you understand.

Since coming back in February, I’ve had some serious self-revelations.

Sometimes as humans, I think sight is easily lost. People lose themselves in jobs or relationships. After you’re left wandering in a grey spiraling smoke cloud you have no recollection of creating, it’s not always easy to carve an exit.

I’ve been hiding in Australia since November 2002, frequenting New York City, trying to make sense, and keeping my fingers crossed.

I’m wondering if it’s time for some years in the States. I guess I know for a fact that it is… facing it, twisting it into a workable shape, and figuring out how has been… well

… one day you can read the book about it.