my anxiety of advertising

January 31, 2020 Posted by the writer

I really can’t handle advertising. I don’t reckon advertising is something that overjoys anyone — but I feel like my loathing is next level.

Since leaving the household where I was raised twenty years ago, in the middle of the night to sleep on a New York City floor with some welcoming strangers I met the night prior — I’ve never owned a television. Televisions are advertising boxes that I cannot personally endure.

Part of why my web presence has faded since firing up ten years back is because computers have followed the same suit. These days I read very little online because the assault of advertising has an ineffable effect on me.

I’m a free spirit with an open mind and I enjoy making my own decisions and being guided by my free will. When any type of brand or foreign influence intervenes, I tend to plug my ears and squint my eyes.

It’s over the top, I know.

This essentially sums it up.

Furthermore, this issue prevents me from any online monetization effort. I have a stack of acquaintances getting bread off of the commercials shoved in their YouTube videos or the google ads woven in their webpages. And trust me, I envy the “who cares” approach. Maybe one day I’ll get over it.

A word that makes me throw up in my mouth the most these days is “influencers”. I perceive an “influencer” as a human advertisement. I think this is even more disgusting than a corporate commercial, because these people are using an audience who adores them to pimp flat tummy tea or whatever trash pays. It’s impersonal and self-centred.

Smart phones are essentially mini television tracking devices that have changed the world in a way far beyond me. And while I no doubt require the access of certain technologies as part of my career, I try to keep it at that.

So in closing, FollowMeToNYC will remain ad-free. Shout out to the YouTube millionaires who have literally banked millions off of ad revenue. It literally blows my mind.

and then i was in nyc

January 28, 2020 Posted by the writer

I decided ten days ago Manhattan was calling. I had been in a fairly shit mood for like two weeks and I needed a quick fix.

So last Friday, I hopped on a plane and am currently hibernating amongst chilly treetops and windy street blocks.

Since I left Manhattan to go back to Australia in June 2018, I’ve been freelancing.

The dopest thing about being a freelance Writer is setting yourself up to work a month, have a month to yourself, work a month, play for a month… or more. Sometimes two months. Sometimes three.

It’s not the most financially lucrative way of living, but swinging it has been a blessing. And if I hadn’t spent eight years slaying as a word nerd in Manhattan, I don’t reckon I would have been able to work my career quite same way.

That said, I recently met some friends that run a business in the Phillipines who would be very keen to snatch up a full-time Writer. There aren’t actually that many of us around. I mean, anyone can write and should write… the professional game gets a bit different.

I’m going to hide out in the city with trips to the sticks until Friday week. This is the third time I’ve been able to get from Australia to the city in the past three months.

When I fired this page up ten years ago, I could barely afford flying one way…

I’m still feeling quite internal but the feeling is where I connect to what’s around me. It blows my mind I updated this page every day for over five years.

A lot changes in five years. Even more changes in ten.

Like I nodded to in my Jeffree Star mention, I’m kind of shocked by online behaviours these days. I can honestly say if the same amount of internet hate was getting slung around ten years ago, I probably wouldn’t have built this blahg.

I really love connecting with like-minded tribal members and enjoy spending time with beautiful people. I’m away from glowing screens as much as I can be. These days I turn my phone off for open-ended periods of time and stay away from computers as much as I can.

I guess I’ve come back to who I was before I dipped into FollowMeToNYC. An enhanced version, naturally. I believe women are like wine.

I’m going to go pour more blue ink into my black leather book. I hope you are all happy, healthy and beaming. I’m really trying to change back to daily posts, but I’ve been trying for a couple years now. I’m onto new art projects that I’ll share as they unravel. But best believe, my gypsy bounce has never been springier.

when your mouth is

January 15, 2020 Posted by the writer

Super shut.

Observations inside silence are always the loudest to me.

One of my favourite people who hails from the South Island of New Zealand spent a few days in my beach hut recently.

We guzzled gin drinks and played hair colour games with another favourite who dwells down Byron way.

We dipped carrot sticks in garlic dips and swapped secrets and silliness. The colours of my life are violet and gold. They remain that way.

Seven years back two of my best friends killed themselves within nine months of each other. That reality floated past these pages somewhere, right around the time when I shut down.

Considering I keep five friends in my pocket, losing close to 50% of them was something I never tried to accept.

Not until these past few weeks.

When y’all wonder where I went. Inside a broken heart is probably the best excuse I can float you.

I never took a minute to think about it. I’ve been crying a bit recently. I’m finally facing what the fuck my problem is.

Per the recommendation of one of my favourite kiwis, I’m finally starting to dance it off. That’s what the boys would want.

Blast this. You’re welcome.

my inter-web beef

January 15, 2020 Posted by the writer

Namaste blog tribe

Now that I’ve been peeking in here and there back in webpage world, I’ve been having many conversations with my five friends about what to do here; where I’ve been; where I’d like this all to go.

I’ve learned something significant with regard to my silence and general direction I set for sharing my art online, there is a particular group – a big one – I simply can’t stomach.

I slightly nodded toward it in my Jeffree mention, the screen hiders and haters. There’s a significantly large, and growing, group of humans who have nothing better to do than sling hate.

This is why I have no social media at this second. People on this webpage have found it in their own way for their own reasons, and I can moderate my comments like a mother fucker if need be.

When it comes to the FuckBooks as I like to call it or the YouFucks… they’re all just corporate add agencies that use people’s private lives to sell advertising – and it kind of makes me sick.

It really makes me sick.

Not only am I unaccepting of the hate culture online, I refuse to have it in my life. I’d rather hide. I don’t need anyone to approve my art or feelings, I’m fortunate to have built a tremendously successful career based on my writing. So it’s unnecessary to lean into any of those platforms to get paid.

Don’t get me wrong, people who do lean into those platforms are making way more money than me. They’re hitting a much wider audience, and I send them love extending far beyond what most creatures can conceive.

However, here in my corner – fuck that, man. I’ve got a few things to say that have gone down over the past ten years. I’m contemplating putting them on “the youtube” per advice of many lovers I trust and for the bottom line fact that it’s a massive platform.

I’ve got deep imbedded reasons in me why I hate youtube. I’ll talk about those tomorrow. For you kids still around, I promise I’ll get back to dailies. I think about you guys every day. To package up what’s gone down in the past five years or so is impossible. I’m in the midst of the art that’s moving me on…

jeffree star

January 11, 2020 Posted by the writer

For those unfamiliar, Jeffree Star is a self-made make up mogul.

Having spent my own period/s of life playing online, I appreciate the tribal members out there who make it big connecting with audiences, bringing people together and sharing their art with the world. Jeffree’s makeup art and how he built his empire, in my opinion, is unprecedented.

Part of Jeffree’s journey for the past five years was his partner Nathan. Everyone knew Nathan, everyone knew them as a set. Yesterday, Jeffree shared that the two of them split.

This all touched me deep for a lot of reasons. First, I’m blown away by the online pack who really and most raw put like, close to every single piece of their life out there for public consumption. I respect it. On the other side of that, I’m disgusted by web trolls. You know, the ones who go online to rip people apart from behind the safety of their own screen.

I once heard a click of girls getting money online say, “If you ain’t got no haters, you ain’t poppin.” There’s certainly truth in that.

Back when Shakespeare’s plays were being performed, if the audience wasn’t happy, they tossed rotten fruit and jeered. Not the best feedback to receive; but afterwards – they all went home and on about their lives.

Social media and the speed of information being shot around the web has created an entire realm where millions of humans don’t want to do anything but spread hate. And if it gets legs, it can go on for weeks, months, even years creating “permanent” records vomited over a completely out of control network filled with whatever anyone feels like putting up.

Fortunately, I find Jeffree’s supporters to be love spreaders, similar to the little click we had buzzing in this corner before I dipped back into my natural state of solitude. As I learned on FollowMeToNYC, and part of why I disappeared for a few years, is that when you form these cyber relationships – they’re completely real.

When I was posting every day, part of it was in the name of my art project – however, what came to inspire me more was when I tipped the scale of a couple thousand people peeking in daily to see what I was up to.

Jeffree has millions of those, and he maintains his game with a consistency and class that I personally have not seen anyone else in the online game touch. I can’t imagine maintaining obligations to your fans to share and keep them posted, when all you want to do is find a way to disappear.

I bask in disappearance. I have been for about five years. I change continents and phone numbers quicker than most people can can change their mind.

The reason all of this with Jeffree has hit me hard and resulted in this mega rant is that I really feel for him after the break up. When husband #1 slit my heart in half and diced the pieces, I took it silently. And while I started this site as part of my own healing process to get through, I never talked about it here at all.

Instead, I put out three poetry books in three years.

Seeing Jeffree maintain his integrity while continuing to be there for a worldwide audience who loves him has been completely inspiring. And while my heart cracked at the news of his own soul crunching, the way he is navigating it is another reason why I believe as far as utilising the world wild web to connect with others, express yourself and create beauty adds yet another new reason why I respect what he does and feel good about witnessing someone who keeps pushing to do good in a world that can often be quite un-great.

Love to all of you, and love to you Jeffree. If you should ever stumble across my microscopic pocket of the digital orb so many of us dip in and out of, I hope you know how truly iconic of an Artist you are and how grateful so many of us are to see that in the sea of online surfing – we’re lucky when we find the real ones.

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    FollowMeToNYC is a creative processing ground which expresses individual ideas that often change with the tides. Naturally, these ideas do not reflect those of any of my employers, or anyone else you might see me wandering down the street with one day.
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