the world and words of a writer

Nearly 12 months has gone by. This site has been up down, back up – back down.

Husband #3 proved to be just as much a disappointment as the first two, probably worse.

Interestingly, he’s one of the highest ranked military men on Earth. And no, that’s not a joke.

Yo… you have no idea.

The 10 year anniversary of FollowMeToNYC came and went, in September 2019.

… happy 2020 lovers. I miss you and think of you.

My trip into silence has been real. This page was a beautiful art project and I’m happy for it to be live. I have a new one in the mix, now that I’m back in Australia.

I’m still getting the grace to build it all again, but it’s GretchenOnTheGoldCoast. More about it very soon, probably like tomorrow.

Since being back in Australia for pushing 19 months, solitude is real. I have no family here. The fake relationship I married into after eight weeks is trash. I was really pushed in ways no one should be.

On the other side of that, I can’t turn my cheek to the incredible career I’ve built. I was still with my first husband (my only real husband) when I started this webpage in 2009.

He didn’t even know that I was getting ready to leave him and end the abuse. None of you knew either, I never really talked about it.

He’s happy with his wife who is an Aussie immigrant like me, only she’s from China. It seems like she brought a kid in the mix and now they can be a family.

I actually don’t care.

My second husband is a drop kick, we faked a friendship for a minute but he’s a violent person and I don’t like that.

As far as number three goes, the solider – I think’s that’s complicated and might need a few poetry books at some point.

I want to be back. I want to start talking (writing/blahging) and sharing again.

I am grateful for this couple of year shut down. Please don’t take it personal blog tribe, I wasn’t talking to anyone. It wasn’t just you.

I’m inhaling and spine straightening now. Reconnecting. Regenerating.

We have so much to talk about… I’m just trying to clean up the platforms to do it. But I promise to keep this one open. Honesty is rare. I never saw how raw I was being until I shut this down and people came asking where I went.

… wait until we talk about where I’ve been.

One love.

3 x 3 x 3

Being in my presently small pocket of Earth, we celebrate New Year’s third… after Samoa and New Zealand.

Following a completely relaxed build up to the fireworks that I watched off the mansion deck last night… I just gobbled twelve grapes as a tradition while my Spanish husband and I rang in Spain’s new year. I currently await the Times Square ball to drop before we toast once more.

My final day of 2018 was lush. The puppies and I went to the ocean, frolicked in the park and basked in the Australian summer sun. I prepared a five star hotel breakfast that was gobbled with mimosa compliments on my waterfront terrace… before spending the afternoon buried in a book of short stories; part of which was read in a coconut bath bomb spa bath next to an open window overlooking the lake.

I scribbled down my 2019 promises and mantras in a red leather bound book that has nearly run out of pages. I’ll require a new journal over the coming weeks.

Last year was a bit of a shit show… it’s not easy transporting two babies from Manhattan to Australia all on your own. $12,000 later, we made it. Then it was onto job, house, resettlement, etc…

This year, 2019 (my year), I’m remixing everything. When I came back to Australia, it wasn’t to continue my stint as a super fancy executive writer, I already lived that bit.

My perception is that life is short. I’d like to live as many lives as I possibly can in this round of years I’m walking. I have been reborn and remixed consistently my entire life every 5 to 7 years.

And I adore that…

In 2018 I turned 40 (hollah at your girl…); so I’m officially walking into my second half of existence. And the only thing I could possibly wish for, is for everything to be different. Not because I haven’t indulged in every day leading to now… I just don’t want to be ordinary or predictable.

I never want anyone to say, “Oh, Gretchen Cello… the poet… the New Yorker… the executive… the blah blah…”

I want to live new each breath. So much newness has my fingertips tingling at the moment. 2019 seems like the perfect ballroom to dance the next routine.

Happy New Year’s blog family. One love. 3 x 3 x 3