solitude

January 7, 2020 Posted by the writer

I always say I’m all one way, or all the other.

I did eight years in midtown Manhattan because I wanted to be in it. I needed to be around humans, I wanted the energy of the 24-hour buzz. I was heart broken and lost.

I’ve been back in Australia just over 18 months. It’s not easy doing everything alone. While I can look back on my first marriage and clearly identify why it was utterly fucked, I got really used to being with someone.

I don’t think I’ll ever completely adjust to being by myself. But I always go where my heart speaks to. Australia is my heart. It has been since I first arrived in 2002.

Every morning when the light wakes me up, I go straight to the beach. It’s a 10-minute scoot down the street.

I’m in between jobs, once again. The career I built in Manhattan was unexpected and I feel like the word phenomenal is an understatement.

For the past two months I’ve been simmering. After a decade of grinding whether it was spinning a blahg empire or making in excess of 200K a year at one point (writing, always and only writing…) I reached a point where I knew I had to stop.

As an artist, the emotional tax of relationships is real shit. I keep about five people close, in my pocket close. When two of my pocket tribe took their own lives eight years ago… I never reformed as the person I was.

I believe when it’s said we live like five or six lives in a lifetime. I’m probably embarking on number four at this stage. I’ve got a few freelance gigs that will hopefully give me dollars to get by.

Lily is about to be 13 years old. That’s a lot of dog years. All I want to do at the moment is be with her and Fronkles. I definitely like dogs better than people as a general rule.

I’m putting myself back together after personal things not meant to be slung on the web. However I must say, I’m elated to see how many of you popped up when I came back to this corner again.

I’m making it a priority to check in every day again. Slowly things will unravel and a natural catch up will ensue.

I started this page because I was having a really difficult time in my personal life. I’m back for the same reason. I consider this site a fluid art project and love you all for checking in.

another husband down… here but hear…

January 5, 2020 Posted by the writer

Nearly 12 months has gone by. This site has been up down, back up – back down.

Husband #3 proved to be just as much a disappointment as the first two, probably worse.

Interestingly, he’s one of the highest ranked military men on Earth. And no, that’s not a joke.

Yo… you have no idea.

The 10 year anniversary of FollowMeToNYC came and went, in September 2019.

… happy 2020 lovers. I miss you and think of you.

My trip into silence has been real. This page was a beautiful art project and I’m happy for it to be live. I have a new one in the mix, now that I’m back in Australia.

I’m still getting the grace to build it all again, but it’s GretchenOnTheGoldCoast. More about it very soon, probably like tomorrow.

Since being back in Australia for pushing 19 months, solitude is real. I have no family here. The fake relationship I married into after eight weeks is trash. I was really pushed in ways no one should be.

On the other side of that, I can’t turn my cheek to the incredible career I’ve built. I was still with my first husband (my only real husband) when I started this webpage in 2009.

He didn’t even know that I was getting ready to leave him and end the abuse. None of you knew either, I never really talked about it.

He’s happy with his wife who is an Aussie immigrant like me, only she’s from China. It seems like she brought a kid in the mix and now they can be a family.

I actually don’t care.

My second husband is a drop kick, we faked a friendship for a minute but he’s a violent person and I don’t like that.

As far as number three goes, the solider – I think’s that’s complicated and might need a few poetry books at some point.

I want to be back. I want to start talking (writing/blahging) and sharing again.

I am grateful for this couple of year shut down. Please don’t take it personal blog tribe, I wasn’t talking to anyone. It wasn’t just you.

I’m inhaling and spine straightening now. Reconnecting. Regenerating.

We have so much to talk about… I’m just trying to clean up the platforms to do it. But I promise to keep this one open. Honesty is rare. I never saw how raw I was being until I shut this down and people came asking where I went.

… wait until we talk about where I’ve been.

One love.

3 x 3 x 3

lucid. unplugged. disconnect.

January 12, 2019 Posted by the writer

“Yo puedo hacerte feliz…”

I met my husband 29 June 2017. Halfway through our first date, breakfast at a French cafe’ on east 44th street in midtown Manhattan, he leaned across the table while I blushed crossing and uncrossing my legs (both of us dressed to the New York City nines, suits and frocks at 7am) and he stated, quite plainly in a husky, cigar-smoking Spanish accent that I drank like a green smoothie…

“I can make you happy.”

“… yo puedo hacerte feliz.”

(more…)

New Year’s!

December 31, 2018 Posted by the writer

Being in my presently small pocket of Earth, we celebrate New Year’s third… after Samoa and New Zealand.

Following a completely relaxed build up to the fireworks that I watched off the mansion deck last night… I just gobbled twelve grapes as a tradition while my Spanish husband and I rang in Spain’s new year. I currently await the Times Square ball to drop before we toast once more.

My final day of 2018 was lush. The puppies and I went to the ocean, frolicked in the park and basked in the Australian summer sun. I prepared a five star hotel breakfast that was gobbled with mimosa compliments on my waterfront terrace… before spending the afternoon buried in a book of short stories; part of which was read in a coconut bath bomb spa bath next to an open window overlooking the lake.

I scribbled down my 2019 promises and mantras in a red leather bound book that has nearly run out of pages. I’ll require a new journal over the coming weeks.

Last year was a bit of a shit show… it’s not easy transporting two babies from Manhattan to Australia all on your own. $12,000 later, we made it. Then it was onto job, house, resettlement, etc…

This year, 2019 (my year), I’m remixing everything. When I came back to Australia, it wasn’t to continue my stint as a super fancy executive writer, I already lived that bit.

My perception is that life is short. I’d like to live as many lives as I possibly can in this round of years I’m walking. I have been reborn and remixed consistently my entire life every 5 to 7 years.

And I adore that…

In 2018 I turned 40 (hollah at your girl…); so I’m officially walking into my second half of existence. And the only thing I could possibly wish for, is for everything to be different. Not because I haven’t indulged in every day leading to now… I just don’t want to be ordinary or predictable.

I never want anyone to say, “Oh, Gretchen Cello… the poet… the New Yorker… the executive… the blah blah…”

I want to live new each breath. So much newness has my fingertips tingling at the moment. 2019 seems like the perfect ballroom to dance the next routine.

Happy New Year’s blog family. One love. 3 x 3 x 3

mansion life. sun up. sun down.

December 28, 2018 Posted by the writer

Living in a mansion for the past six months has been a new solar system after tucking myself into stacks of midtown Manhattan apartments for eights years.

I have a reading room, a writing room and an outdoor sanctuary for swimming, sun bathing and word spinning. It’s a far cry from my beloved farm house where I was dwelling back in 2009 when FollowMeToNYC took shape.

Lately I’ve been reflecting a lot. When the sun goes up until when it drops. Then I usually float on my back in the pool and the stare at the stars for awhile.

My six months back in Australia have been divine. The past few years have been mind blowing, and as I roll into 2019 to celebrate ten years of this blahg… that’s a whole lot of life that went down.

I’m a firm believer that creatures don’t really change. Experiences differ, so I guess we roll through them as we may, but when it comes to your center to you being YOU – your own unique piece of Us, if you will…. I don’t reckon much changes.

When I started this page I needed a voice after being neglected by an emotionally abusive partner for a couple of years too many. I built a comfy corner and complimented it with social connections and endeavors to grow an audience and interact.

Truth is, I’m not really that type of creature. One of my traits as a born Writer is despising glowing boxes (television, phones, digital everything) and embracing solitude. Finding my own path to wander where I can listen to my inner voice, how I connect with the life I live, and making language paintings remains my one true passion.

I originally came to Australia in 2002 because it’s about as far from New York City as you can get, an entirely different planet to where I’m from. I returned this year for the same reason.

I’m awaiting my husband’s orders which are going to result in me being swooped up and lifted to Western Australia in a literal blink. Yet another new land where I have never lived but always dreamed.

That’s when the next chapter officially starts.

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    FollowMeToNYC is a creative processing ground which expresses individual ideas that often change with the tides. Naturally, these ideas do not reflect those of any of my employers, or anyone else you might see me wandering down the street with one day.
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