day eleven. i hate everything.

I'm hanging on by a thread blog tribe. Right now I'm listening to Vinicio Capossela. I spent the morning wandering around the east river and exchanging a few "we will always be together" messages. Saremo sempre insieme... I moped around my apartment. I'll go to work soon. Work is actually helping. I'm all about distraction as a coping mechanism, huge fan. Meanwhile, my heart has copped a historic beating. The weekend was beyond terrible. I don't...

day eight.

It's about three am. There's a reason I haven't been around for four days. I've spent most of the time feeling bad for myself, generally self-loathing. Some of this behavior I put back to my non-traditional upbringing. Most of it I put to the fact that the absence of the love of my life has me slowly suffocating. Considering that I have never been in a relationship of a comparable capacity, with any man, my entire life... prior to now - it's...

day four. what you miss.

I miss coffee in the morning. I miss watching him roll cigarettes. I miss waking up next to him, which is crazy because I usually refuse to sleep next to anyone, generally speaking. I miss how my heart drops the second I see him after being apart. I miss kissing him goodbye at the subway. There's something therapeutic to me about obsession. People fuck love up all the time. To me, having a lover to keep comes down to one major factor: obsession....

day three (timezones in my head)

It's day three out of thirty something that my boyfriend is super far away. I've been frantically consulting my international family from bases including France and England while also reaching out to Colorado and Boston. I'm also trying to stay on the luthier's clock, which is six hours ahead of mine - at the moment. Rome time. Yesterday a Harlem associate came through to smoke cigars, drink Italian beer and talk about life. You just never...

destino adempimento

destino adempimento c'era oceano tra noi; stelle di collegamento il nostro cielo. era il luogo dove i finalmente trovato uno residenza. da qualche parte ... restiamo. come non ho mai avuto bisogno un altro amante; un impossibile domanda quando tutto tenuto le mie mani. baciò le mie labbra. contro di me, mi sono sentito come lui è un cerchio e che l'amore può essere vero. E io ero ... per ... lui. ed era per me. fate fulfillment there was...
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