day 15. come mi betide.

come mi betide ho assaggiato l’oceano quando ho baciato lui e ha salvato la mia vita. ho indossato di lui vestiti; avvolto nel suo tessuto. profumata di sigaretta promesse. entrambi giurò di questo stato per sempre. che noi apparteneva insieme eterna. non ho mai realizzato infinito non ho mai capito vi è una sola anima che mi adatto all'interno di. quando parla il tamburo del mio cuore esplode. ho espandere per circondare la verità che...

day 14. just barely.

Well, this weekend sucked - like last weekend. I slept as much as I could. I was invited out, I declined. The only thing I want, is the luthier. I actually prefer the workweek to weekends while I'm going through this because workweeks are more structured, they go by quicker. I have a defined place to go and clear tasks to execute. But when you leave me to my devices for 48 hours, yeah... not so much. I have been talking to my soulmate since...

day twelve. sperlonga.

So it's 8am on Friday. Here are my top ten stats of the day, it's been a minute since a top ten. Top ten stats of Friday so far. 10. The amount of minutes it took me to get myself out of bed. 9. The number of dreams I had about the luthier last night. 8. The current time. 7. The number of texts I've swapped with the luthier so far today. 6. How many times I've said, "I wish it was Saturday." 5. How many minutes until I probably cry again. 4. How...

day eleven. i hate everything.

I'm hanging on by a thread blog tribe. Right now I'm listening to Vinicio Capossela. I spent the morning wandering around the east river and exchanging a few "we will always be together" messages. Saremo sempre insieme... I moped around my apartment. I'll go to work soon. Work is actually helping. I'm all about distraction as a coping mechanism, huge fan. Meanwhile, my heart has copped a historic beating. The weekend was beyond terrible. I don't...

day eight.

It's about three am. There's a reason I haven't been around for four days. I've spent most of the time feeling bad for myself, generally self-loathing. Some of this behavior I put back to my non-traditional upbringing. Most of it I put to the fact that the absence of the love of my life has me slowly suffocating. Considering that I have never been in a relationship of a comparable capacity, with any man, my entire life... prior to now - it's...
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