a venerated vehicle

a venerated vehicle between. this. (k)new combination of reality. someone hurt him. this white trash baby mamma drama. loose pussy suburb trick. i saw it in his face. not her. to real women; she’s nothing. sometimes i practice not telling truth to what’s wounded. my throat was slit before - and i came back in this way i never talk about with anyone. but i saw him, and how he moves. his hands create. quickly. and he says little and i am...

directions of destruction

directions of destruction i cut my wrist. vertical. crashing. slay. horizontal. a lay down way to say these are the ways that i hurt myself. pay. choking descriptions of “it’s a bad day”. i am telling you what i never speak. step into an orb of utter. alone. one impossible notion. being weak. i’m trying to explain. i know no one. i’d rather be written off. forgotten. i was recalled once. result? abandon. realize, i stopped imagining...

sia times two

Lately when I obsess over a new music act, I end up finding a slew of tracks to fill my days with. Like during my recent Moto Boy and Allen Stone tangents, for example. Sia has proven no different. After my Chandelier rant yesterday, I went to work and listened to the whole album - which is how I came across Elastic Heart. This is the song you want to scream in your ex's face after you're let down, again. I'd definitely like to scream it in my...

sia. chandelier. girls. drinks.

First of all, Sia: Chandelier ... you're welcome. Last night over Shiraz with my girlfriend, she put me onto Sia. Apparently Sia is from Australia, I can't lie - I never heard of her the nine years I spent living there, but I live a deliberately sheltered existence in many ways. Which sounds peculiar considering I live in midtown Manhattan... I digress. Chandelier by Sia is my currently favorite song. This usually changes every two or three...

affect (of affliction)

affect (of affliction) this morning. you will not. not ever understand that. last night. when you arrived i wanted to get better. even though it was six weeks ago now. nearly seven. numbers are one of the things that i obsess. over. only obsession is nothing compared to the way that i am fast. this impulse. this. sudden. shock. this place i explode and destroy and remember to(o) always forget. amnesia’s embrace. like a soft comfort that you...
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