his birthday

March 16, 2015 Posted by the writer

Per Australia time, it’s my husband’s (“ex husband”) birthday today. Saint Patrick’s Day. It’s been a minute since I’ve written poetry. It spilled from my fingertips tonight:

restructuring stay

there. can only be
one. he and (eye)
promises. a lot
of vows. teeth chatter
swearing. i dressed
in shades of declaration.
when you never
want anything. seek
a shape and style
to convince the rest
that. “i’m ok.”
no one wears this… look.
protection locks me
and i don’t want it
and it’s not good enough
because you aren’t he(a)re
and i never mattered.
but… what… you took
a(way). empty heart
beat. rhythm. i AM
dancing a walk. you
overlooked. touching
these tears. fitting
in.

what. i used (to be)

it doesn’t. go. a-
way. people say
(they) assumptions.
i left. for reasons.
creased suit. smile.
outside in(side). stance.
when you want. to cry
and tears do not
fall like i need. to(o)…
his. lies. false. fucking.
fake.
i stood. stretch back facade.
and i can’t be
beat. slamming skin
to resolve something. that
will. never. be.

About the writer

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gretchen's brain is preoccupied with words.

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    FollowMeToNYC is a creative processing ground which expresses individual ideas that often change with the tides. Naturally, these ideas do not reflect those of any of my employers, or anyone else you might see me wandering down the street with one day.
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