on the table. about-ness.

Namaste blog tribe

You know, I remember starting this page with a broken heart and lack of a prayer on getting to New York City. Then I got here in a volcanic blast of emotion and life adjustment after spending ten years in another country. THEN I lost my job, I guess that was the official point of: alright, no more tears over exes… no more taking for granted how hard I work… onto the next one.

Here’s the next one: two prospects. Not just one Writer job, two. I don’t know how to handle it. I’m so used to working, working, working… crossing fingers and toes to stay true to my talent, survive on Earth and stay real when it comes to my Writing. Hence, you can imagine my awe being in a position of two opportunities. Both in midtown Manhattan. Both after what I do best – word-slinging.

Having spent so many years married, it was always about pleasing my man. That’s just who I am. I like making my partner happy, I like making people happy in general. So losing my relationship, at the same exact time my “career” started taking off… it took me about three years to get my head around it. Years and countless text messages to my ex about “I CAN’T BELIEVE I GOT THIS FAR WITHOUT YOU WHEN IT WAS ALL FOR YOU AND YOU AREN’T EVEN HERE!!!”

And I’ve learned something, from that… the only “Us” you can do anything for is the complete whole, not a partner. I try to go where I’m led and be real to One Source. Not one person. It took a really long time and a legitimate ass whoop to get me where I am.

Thank God I’m here.

My head has straightened out from a few factors. A recent one was some social-love from a new friend:


And that, family, is one of the things that has kept my heart beating all of this time. After one of the longest winters on record, we’re just starting to taste spring in these parts.

The flowers have never been scented so sweetly… just a few short days before I am home, getting paid to write and dwelling in the center of my beloved Manhattan. Even though she froze my tits off this unforgiving season of freezing, my love will melt the ice – unconditionally.

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