WOAH – OH – OH – OH …
… sing it back woah woah woah
I WAS FEELIN FREE…. WOAH OH OH OH
so
tell. me
what
do i need?
solitude
I always say I’m all one way, or all the other.
I did eight years in midtown Manhattan because I wanted to be in it. I needed to be around humans, I wanted the energy of the 24-hour buzz. I was heart broken and lost.
I’ve been back in Australia just over 18 months. It’s not easy doing everything alone. While I can look back on my first marriage and clearly identify why it was utterly fucked, I got really used to being with someone.
I don’t think I’ll ever completely adjust to being by myself. But I always go where my heart speaks to. Australia is my heart. It has been since I first arrived in 2002.
Every morning when the light wakes me up, I go straight to the beach. It’s a 10-minute scoot down the street.
I’m in between jobs, once again. The career I built in Manhattan was unexpected and I feel like the word phenomenal is an understatement.
For the past two months I’ve been simmering. After a decade of grinding whether it was spinning a blahg empire or making in excess of 200K a year at one point (writing, always and only writing…) I reached a point where I knew I had to stop.
As an artist, the emotional tax of relationships is real shit. I keep about five people close, in my pocket close. When two of my pocket tribe took their own lives eight years ago… I never reformed as the person I was.
I believe when it’s said we live like five or six lives in a lifetime. I’m probably embarking on number four at this stage. I’ve got a few freelance gigs that will hopefully give me dollars to get by.
Lily is about to be 13 years old. That’s a lot of dog years. All I want to do at the moment is be with her and Fronkles. I definitely like dogs better than people as a general rule.
I’m putting myself back together after personal things not meant to be slung on the web. However I must say, I’m elated to see how many of you popped up when I came back to this corner again.
I’m making it a priority to check in every day again. Slowly things will unravel and a natural catch up will ensue.
I started this page because I was having a really difficult time in my personal life. I’m back for the same reason. I consider this site a fluid art project and love you all for checking in.
another husband down… here but hear…
Nearly 12 months has gone by. This site has been up down, back up – back down.
Husband #3 proved to be just as much a disappointment as the first two, probably worse.
Interestingly, he’s one of the highest ranked military men on Earth. And no, that’s not a joke.
Yo… you have no idea.
The 10 year anniversary of FollowMeToNYC came and went, in September 2019.
… happy 2020 lovers. I miss you and think of you.
My trip into silence has been real. This page was a beautiful art project and I’m happy for it to be live. I have a new one in the mix, now that I’m back in Australia.
I’m still getting the grace to build it all again, but it’s GretchenOnTheGoldCoast. More about it very soon, probably like tomorrow.
Since being back in Australia for pushing 19 months, solitude is real. I have no family here. The fake relationship I married into after eight weeks is trash. I was really pushed in ways no one should be.
On the other side of that, I can’t turn my cheek to the incredible career I’ve built. I was still with my first husband (my only real husband) when I started this webpage in 2009.
He didn’t even know that I was getting ready to leave him and end the abuse. None of you knew either, I never really talked about it.
He’s happy with his wife who is an Aussie immigrant like me, only she’s from China. It seems like she brought a kid in the mix and now they can be a family.
I actually don’t care.
My second husband is a drop kick, we faked a friendship for a minute but he’s a violent person and I don’t like that.
As far as number three goes, the solider – I think’s that’s complicated and might need a few poetry books at some point.
I want to be back. I want to start talking (writing/blahging) and sharing again.
I am grateful for this couple of year shut down. Please don’t take it personal blog tribe, I wasn’t talking to anyone. It wasn’t just you.
I’m inhaling and spine straightening now. Reconnecting. Regenerating.
We have so much to talk about… I’m just trying to clean up the platforms to do it. But I promise to keep this one open. Honesty is rare. I never saw how raw I was being until I shut this down and people came asking where I went.
… wait until we talk about where I’ve been.
One love.
3 x 3 x 3
salt water. poetry processing.
My unplugged-ness lusciously carries on. I’ve been considering my options to get a typewriter. While I always prefer writing by hand, I’ve been having daydreams about old school clacks and inky ribbons.
My husband is in Spain. While I’m waiting for him to return, I’ve been in the water. Mainly salt water. I’ve also been in the pool a few hours a day. My favorite times are at night, floating on a raft beneath a waxing moon.
My thoughts are poetry, that’s how I assess my health. When I’m at my best, I literally think in poems. Avoiding the internet and glowing screens naturally nourishes this process.
I’d like to produce a new poetry book. After purging three publications in three years, I’ve kept my work between leather bound covers spilt in blue gel ink.
I’ll probably get around to this once we’re on the island…
Saying I feel relaxed or centered are both ultimate understatements. I am beyond words. I am finally back to floating.
After realizing my first husband was evil, I had the most amazing period of proving how I never needed him in the first place. As a hopeless romantic, I adore needing my current husband now and completely forever.
… the real one.
As he so eloquently stated to me earlier today:
No puedo estar sin ti…
… and I curled my toes and thought in poetry.
lucid. unplugged. disconnect.
“Yo puedo hacerte feliz…”
I met my husband 29 June 2017. Halfway through our first date, breakfast at a French cafe’ on east 44th street in midtown Manhattan, he leaned across the table while I blushed crossing and uncrossing my legs (both of us dressed to the New York City nines, suits and frocks at 7am) and he stated, quite plainly in a husky, cigar-smoking Spanish accent that I drank like a green smoothie…
“I can make you happy.”
“… yo puedo hacerte feliz.”
(more…)
Subscribe- crypto. sunday. got to. December 2, 2020
- and a microphone November 14, 2020
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