Posts Tagged: ‘cult’

and then i was in nyc

January 28, 2020 Posted by the writer

I decided ten days ago Manhattan was calling. I had been in a fairly shit mood for like two weeks and I needed a quick fix.

So last Friday, I hopped on a plane and am currently hibernating amongst chilly treetops and windy street blocks.

Since I left Manhattan to go back to Australia in June 2018, I’ve been freelancing.

The dopest thing about being a freelance Writer is setting yourself up to work a month, have a month to yourself, work a month, play for a month… or more. Sometimes two months. Sometimes three.

It’s not the most financially lucrative way of living, but swinging it has been a blessing. And if I hadn’t spent eight years slaying as a word nerd in Manhattan, I don’t reckon I would have been able to work my career quite same way.

That said, I recently met some friends that run a business in the Phillipines who would be very keen to snatch up a full-time Writer. There aren’t actually that many of us around. I mean, anyone can write and should write… the professional game gets a bit different.

I’m going to hide out in the city with trips to the sticks until Friday week. This is the third time I’ve been able to get from Australia to the city in the past three months.

When I fired this page up ten years ago, I could barely afford flying one way…

I’m still feeling quite internal but the feeling is where I connect to what’s around me. It blows my mind I updated this page every day for over five years.

A lot changes in five years. Even more changes in ten.

Like I nodded to in my Jeffree Star mention, I’m kind of shocked by online behaviours these days. I can honestly say if the same amount of internet hate was getting slung around ten years ago, I probably wouldn’t have built this blahg.

I really love connecting with like-minded tribal members and enjoy spending time with beautiful people. I’m away from glowing screens as much as I can be. These days I turn my phone off for open-ended periods of time and stay away from computers as much as I can.

I guess I’ve come back to who I was before I dipped into FollowMeToNYC. An enhanced version, naturally. I believe women are like wine.

I’m going to go pour more blue ink into my black leather book. I hope you are all happy, healthy and beaming. I’m really trying to change back to daily posts, but I’ve been trying for a couple years now. I’m onto new art projects that I’ll share as they unravel. But best believe, my gypsy bounce has never been springier.

when your mouth is

January 15, 2020 Posted by the writer

Super shut.

Observations inside silence are always the loudest to me.

One of my favourite people who hails from the South Island of New Zealand spent a few days in my beach hut recently.

We guzzled gin drinks and played hair colour games with another favourite who dwells down Byron way.

We dipped carrot sticks in garlic dips and swapped secrets and silliness. The colours of my life are violet and gold. They remain that way.

Seven years back two of my best friends killed themselves within nine months of each other. That reality floated past these pages somewhere, right around the time when I shut down.

Considering I keep five friends in my pocket, losing close to 50% of them was something I never tried to accept.

Not until these past few weeks.

When y’all wonder where I went. Inside a broken heart is probably the best excuse I can float you.

I never took a minute to think about it. I’ve been crying a bit recently. I’m finally facing what the fuck my problem is.

Per the recommendation of one of my favourite kiwis, I’m finally starting to dance it off. That’s what the boys would want.

Blast this. You’re welcome.

jeffree star

January 11, 2020 Posted by the writer

For those unfamiliar, Jeffree Star is a self-made make up mogul.

Having spent my own period/s of life playing online, I appreciate the tribal members out there who make it big connecting with audiences, bringing people together and sharing their art with the world. Jeffree’s makeup art and how he built his empire, in my opinion, is unprecedented.

Part of Jeffree’s journey for the past five years was his partner Nathan. Everyone knew Nathan, everyone knew them as a set. Yesterday, Jeffree shared that the two of them split.

This all touched me deep for a lot of reasons. First, I’m blown away by the online pack who really and most raw put like, close to every single piece of their life out there for public consumption. I respect it. On the other side of that, I’m disgusted by web trolls. You know, the ones who go online to rip people apart from behind the safety of their own screen.

I once heard a click of girls getting money online say, “If you ain’t got no haters, you ain’t poppin.” There’s certainly truth in that.

Back when Shakespeare’s plays were being performed, if the audience wasn’t happy, they tossed rotten fruit and jeered. Not the best feedback to receive; but afterwards – they all went home and on about their lives.

Social media and the speed of information being shot around the web has created an entire realm where millions of humans don’t want to do anything but spread hate. And if it gets legs, it can go on for weeks, months, even years creating “permanent” records vomited over a completely out of control network filled with whatever anyone feels like putting up.

Fortunately, I find Jeffree’s supporters to be love spreaders, similar to the little click we had buzzing in this corner before I dipped back into my natural state of solitude. As I learned on FollowMeToNYC, and part of why I disappeared for a few years, is that when you form these cyber relationships – they’re completely real.

When I was posting every day, part of it was in the name of my art project – however, what came to inspire me more was when I tipped the scale of a couple thousand people peeking in daily to see what I was up to.

Jeffree has millions of those, and he maintains his game with a consistency and class that I personally have not seen anyone else in the online game touch. I can’t imagine maintaining obligations to your fans to share and keep them posted, when all you want to do is find a way to disappear.

I bask in disappearance. I have been for about five years. I change continents and phone numbers quicker than most people can can change their mind.

The reason all of this with Jeffree has hit me hard and resulted in this mega rant is that I really feel for him after the break up. When husband #1 slit my heart in half and diced the pieces, I took it silently. And while I started this site as part of my own healing process to get through, I never talked about it here at all.

Instead, I put out three poetry books in three years.

Seeing Jeffree maintain his integrity while continuing to be there for a worldwide audience who loves him has been completely inspiring. And while my heart cracked at the news of his own soul crunching, the way he is navigating it is another reason why I believe as far as utilising the world wild web to connect with others, express yourself and create beauty adds yet another new reason why I respect what he does and feel good about witnessing someone who keeps pushing to do good in a world that can often be quite un-great.

Love to all of you, and love to you Jeffree. If you should ever stumble across my microscopic pocket of the digital orb so many of us dip in and out of, I hope you know how truly iconic of an Artist you are and how grateful so many of us are to see that in the sea of online surfing – we’re lucky when we find the real ones.

IF UR LISTENING

January 10, 2020 Posted by the writer

WOAH – OH – OH – OH …

… sing it back woah woah woah

I WAS FEELIN FREE…. WOAH OH OH OH

so

tell. me

what

do i need?

(stumble til you drop)

lucid. unplugged. disconnect.

January 12, 2019 Posted by the writer

“Yo puedo hacerte feliz…”

I met my husband 29 June 2017. Halfway through our first date, breakfast at a French cafe’ on east 44th street in midtown Manhattan, he leaned across the table while I blushed crossing and uncrossing my legs (both of us dressed to the New York City nines, suits and frocks at 7am) and he stated, quite plainly in a husky, cigar-smoking Spanish accent that I drank like a green smoothie…

“I can make you happy.”

“… yo puedo hacerte feliz.”

(more…)
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    FollowMeToNYC is a creative processing ground which expresses individual ideas that often change with the tides. Naturally, these ideas do not reflect those of any of my employers, or anyone else you might see me wandering down the street with one day.
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