Posts Tagged: ‘listening’

meanwhile… on my birthday…

September 11, 2020 Posted by the writer

So getting back to daily feelings / life / facts feels…

… exciting

Last night I drank tequila beers at Eddie’s Grub House.

We took a break to wander across the street and watch the sun dip from the surf club.

I’ve been back now for about 27 months. As the ocean ate the light goodnight, new friends taught me about the volcanic remains we were toasting upon with some of the nicest smiles and most sincerity that I may have experienced ever.

I thought of so many things ringing in 42. I thought about my first husband. About the second two drop kicks I brought in as stand ins while I was torturing myself over my only taste of perfection diving south.

And then I scribbled in my notebook about how it was never perfect, how it was ten years ago now, and how mother fucking blessed I was to be drinking beers with fine gentlemen kissing the end of my birthday goodbye.

… it’s a bit exciting being back blahg family.

I’m plotting my next 12 months. There’s a lot of shit I need to get done before 43 rocks in. I’m not rushing anything… but as a virgo, I need to be god damned organised (at least in my own head).

The best thing about my 2020 birthday was spending time with people who finally made me feel home. New York City is my blood… Australia is my home.

I’m about to make a list of things to get popping this week. I have a new perspective and a refreshed state.

Here we go! Eeeeeh!!

never a brand

July 25, 2020 Posted by the writer

I will never be a brand. A publisher or PR person will have an issue with this. And all this associates with why I’ve never wanted my ART to be my salary.

Money is gross. The world has been built and warped in westernised ways where it takes bread to get by. I get that. That’s why I worked for so long with the trust in our higher power that freedom would eventually find me and give me the capacity to help and do my greatest good.

I’m swimming in that now blahg family… flying free like usual. But super close to figuring ‘it’ out.

There are too many sides of me to be anything. So many successfuls shit on about their brand. I’m happy they’ve got money, but I can’t relate.

I feel like what makes me ME and enables me to add the greatest value to US is that I don’t align myself completely with anything. I mean, I’m an Artist. I’m spiritual.

That’s what I’ve got. Beyond that, see me any day and make a judgement if you need to.

It’s really gross (to me) that the new new is to hear humans getting money for some sort of mention about this or that being ‘on brand’.

What the fuck does that even mean?

I can’t ever let anyone direct my Art because that’s what the business wants.

My experience in business was writing for real business. All those pieces everyone complains about but inadvertently participates in every day… I researched it Wall Street style for close to a decade.

My art isn’t a business. I will never write the way anyone tells me to. I don’t need or want the approval of a system to validate my soul. I don’t need Amazon to put out my pieces. I can’t stomach advertisements on any corporate medium.

OMFG.

… I think I’m going to start talking every day again.

Love, miss and value you blahg cult. One love. Always.

These are my two favourite songs today. Suck that up your brand.

#writerslife fuckers x o x

extra. so much.

March 13, 2020 Posted by the writer

I got divorced again last week. Lucky number three…

I have made new friends who I’m helping. I may have found a third dog.

Every time I get this happy… which has only happened two times before…

I have k(NO)w

De –

– sire

To say any(thing).

One love.

Ps:

when your mouth is

January 15, 2020 Posted by the writer

Super shut.

Observations inside silence are always the loudest to me.

One of my favourite people who hails from the South Island of New Zealand spent a few days in my beach hut recently.

We guzzled gin drinks and played hair colour games with another favourite who dwells down Byron way.

We dipped carrot sticks in garlic dips and swapped secrets and silliness. The colours of my life are violet and gold. They remain that way.

Seven years back two of my best friends killed themselves within nine months of each other. That reality floated past these pages somewhere, right around the time when I shut down.

Considering I keep five friends in my pocket, losing close to 50% of them was something I never tried to accept.

Not until these past few weeks.

When y’all wonder where I went. Inside a broken heart is probably the best excuse I can float you.

I never took a minute to think about it. I’ve been crying a bit recently. I’m finally facing what the fuck my problem is.

Per the recommendation of one of my favourite kiwis, I’m finally starting to dance it off. That’s what the boys would want.

Blast this. You’re welcome.

IF UR LISTENING

January 10, 2020 Posted by the writer

WOAH – OH – OH – OH …

… sing it back woah woah woah

I WAS FEELIN FREE…. WOAH OH OH OH

so

tell. me

what

do i need?

(stumble til you drop)


Matalan
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    FollowMeToNYC is a creative processing ground which expresses individual ideas that often change with the tides. Naturally, these ideas do not reflect those of any of my employers, or anyone else you might see me wandering down the street with one day.
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