Posts Tagged: ‘love’

two weeks later… pascal

April 7, 2020 Posted by the writer

So my mini “corona chronicles” rant didn’t get too far. I reckon most of us are hearing too much about the shit. We’re all living it now, so ranting seems frivolous.

I’ve spent the last two weeks in regular contact with my New York City people and continue to connect with them daily. What happened is a disgrace, dooming and glooming over it here won’t help me or anyone else. I can only imagine what one of my favourite boyfriends from Italy must be going through.

It’s completely ironic that prior to the world having to jump into quarantine mode I had already isolated myself. Rather than let global chaos infringe on us by what I believe is a manmade virus and product of biological warfare; I travelled north to the Sunshine Coast to pick up the newest addition to my family.

His name is Pascal in honour of Easter approaching. He was originally coming home on Good Friday, but since no one is really supposed to be on the roads, I picked him up a week early and was back to my quarters by 10am.

In addition to introducing Pascal to the puppies, I’ve been spending a lot of time in my garden. Passion fruit are going crazy and I’ve finally started a little veggie patch.

I don’t plan on being in this house any longer than 12 months (that would be commitment for these gypsy toes); so I’m making a point to enjoy my lovely yard and beautiful lawn in the meantime.

I hope you’re all safe. I suggest staying inside. Perhaps, consider taking up writing for the next few months… it’s always seemed to work for me.

corona chronicles (2)

March 24, 2020 Posted by the writer

Today is Piggles birthday!

People keep getting sick and I’m worried about my parents back in Connecticut. I’m super happy I randomly jumped a plane to Manhattan in January. The city and those souls stay on my mind.

I started contemplating my next poetry collection. Volume Four will be beautiful. It’s a lot of years to pack in.

People in Australia are nervous and cautious; loving and wonderful; going through the motions like all of us are.

I took photos of flowers today and walked beside the lake. I’m currently making my mother’s baked mac n cheese recipe and continuing on with my plans of land and some seeds.

I tiktoked earlier today and painted. I weeded a garden and had a glass of wine.

I know something is ‘scary’ about these times but I don’t feel it. I feel like everything is occurring perfectly. I am grieving who has left as a cause of the human sickness sweeping us all, but I’m equally excited about what it brings every day.

We celebrated Lily’s birthday in the park earlier, with my next door neighbour after, and with feasts in between. 13 years she turned today.

Another puppy is going to be joining us in about two weeks. His name is Pascal… buckle up blahg tribe. x

extra. so much.

March 13, 2020 Posted by the writer

I got divorced again last week. Lucky number three…

I have made new friends who I’m helping. I may have found a third dog.

Every time I get this happy… which has only happened two times before…

I have k(NO)w

De –

– sire

To say any(thing).

One love.

Ps:

when your mouth is

January 15, 2020 Posted by the writer

Super shut.

Observations inside silence are always the loudest to me.

One of my favourite people who hails from the South Island of New Zealand spent a few days in my beach hut recently.

We guzzled gin drinks and played hair colour games with another favourite who dwells down Byron way.

We dipped carrot sticks in garlic dips and swapped secrets and silliness. The colours of my life are violet and gold. They remain that way.

Seven years back two of my best friends killed themselves within nine months of each other. That reality floated past these pages somewhere, right around the time when I shut down.

Considering I keep five friends in my pocket, losing close to 50% of them was something I never tried to accept.

Not until these past few weeks.

When y’all wonder where I went. Inside a broken heart is probably the best excuse I can float you.

I never took a minute to think about it. I’ve been crying a bit recently. I’m finally facing what the fuck my problem is.

Per the recommendation of one of my favourite kiwis, I’m finally starting to dance it off. That’s what the boys would want.

Blast this. You’re welcome.

jeffree star

January 11, 2020 Posted by the writer

For those unfamiliar, Jeffree Star is a self-made make up mogul.

Having spent my own period/s of life playing online, I appreciate the tribal members out there who make it big connecting with audiences, bringing people together and sharing their art with the world. Jeffree’s makeup art and how he built his empire, in my opinion, is unprecedented.

Part of Jeffree’s journey for the past five years was his partner Nathan. Everyone knew Nathan, everyone knew them as a set. Yesterday, Jeffree shared that the two of them split.

This all touched me deep for a lot of reasons. First, I’m blown away by the online pack who really and most raw put like, close to every single piece of their life out there for public consumption. I respect it. On the other side of that, I’m disgusted by web trolls. You know, the ones who go online to rip people apart from behind the safety of their own screen.

I once heard a click of girls getting money online say, “If you ain’t got no haters, you ain’t poppin.” There’s certainly truth in that.

Back when Shakespeare’s plays were being performed, if the audience wasn’t happy, they tossed rotten fruit and jeered. Not the best feedback to receive; but afterwards – they all went home and on about their lives.

Social media and the speed of information being shot around the web has created an entire realm where millions of humans don’t want to do anything but spread hate. And if it gets legs, it can go on for weeks, months, even years creating “permanent” records vomited over a completely out of control network filled with whatever anyone feels like putting up.

Fortunately, I find Jeffree’s supporters to be love spreaders, similar to the little click we had buzzing in this corner before I dipped back into my natural state of solitude. As I learned on FollowMeToNYC, and part of why I disappeared for a few years, is that when you form these cyber relationships – they’re completely real.

When I was posting every day, part of it was in the name of my art project – however, what came to inspire me more was when I tipped the scale of a couple thousand people peeking in daily to see what I was up to.

Jeffree has millions of those, and he maintains his game with a consistency and class that I personally have not seen anyone else in the online game touch. I can’t imagine maintaining obligations to your fans to share and keep them posted, when all you want to do is find a way to disappear.

I bask in disappearance. I have been for about five years. I change continents and phone numbers quicker than most people can can change their mind.

The reason all of this with Jeffree has hit me hard and resulted in this mega rant is that I really feel for him after the break up. When husband #1 slit my heart in half and diced the pieces, I took it silently. And while I started this site as part of my own healing process to get through, I never talked about it here at all.

Instead, I put out three poetry books in three years.

Seeing Jeffree maintain his integrity while continuing to be there for a worldwide audience who loves him has been completely inspiring. And while my heart cracked at the news of his own soul crunching, the way he is navigating it is another reason why I believe as far as utilising the world wild web to connect with others, express yourself and create beauty adds yet another new reason why I respect what he does and feel good about witnessing someone who keeps pushing to do good in a world that can often be quite un-great.

Love to all of you, and love to you Jeffree. If you should ever stumble across my microscopic pocket of the digital orb so many of us dip in and out of, I hope you know how truly iconic of an Artist you are and how grateful so many of us are to see that in the sea of online surfing – we’re lucky when we find the real ones.

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    FollowMeToNYC is a creative processing ground which expresses individual ideas that often change with the tides. Naturally, these ideas do not reflect those of any of my employers, or anyone else you might see me wandering down the street with one day.
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