Posts Tagged: ‘love’

Happy 2021… where you’ve never known

January 10, 2021 Posted by the writer

Happy 2021 blahg family! It’s time for the dreaded January detox, alas, my weekends have been a bit of a cheat. There’s definitely been one or two bloody marys going down on a Saturday.

Not gonna lie…

Today is Sunday. I walked the puppies. I exercised. I meditated. I made a fruit salad.

I think about all of the words around here regularly. The world has changed since 2009 and I’ve changed with it in some ways — other ways I’m exactly the same.

I started FollowMeToNYC as a disguise to deal with my divorce after my eight year marriage fell apart. It’s funny looking back because I never really spoke about what set all of this off… it was just “New York City NEW York City NEW YORK CITY!”

Let’s not forget that New York City is my fucking town. For life.

Life goes on and you grow. I don’t understand these people who want to live forever. I don’t. Maybe because I believe in life after death.

Regardless of anything, this webpage is special to me. Even if I’m not here as much as I used to be.

Not a lot of people know me personally. I don’t really talk to anyone regularly these days. Just my sister, my father and my best friend.

I feel stronger than I ever have. It makes my soul tingle.

My ineffable love for the world doesn’t fade, but human beings have really gone out of their way to try to fuck me over. Unsuccessfully (obvs), but consistently. Hence “tried…”

For this reason, I’ve retreated. And it’s paid off. The only thing that has ever hurt me in life has been a human. That’s nothing jaded or cynical, it’s reality. I feel like most living creatures would probably agree. Sure sometimes a natural disaster comes in and fucks us around.

But for the most part, it’s people.

In three weeks I’m moving to someplace I’ve never even visited. As the virus fucks the world around, I’m still in this small place where I don’t need to wear a mask and hardly anyone has dropped dead.

This doesn’t make me feel great considering the state of the world. However, I’m grateful and amazed for the position I’ve been in.

Separately, in my true gypsy nature, I’m moving. Again.

It will be the seventh time I’ve moved in the past three years.

… you got that?

Buckle up blahg family. I’m still here. I’ve been so quiet, but I have heaps to tell you. I’m thinking of new ways to do that.

Mostly, I’m just living my life. I’m not chasing anything anymore. I’m 42 and I can just independently exist. I don’t rely on anyone. My heart has a shield around it that took about eight years to build.

I’ve decided in 2021 I need to become a multi-millionaire so no one that I love ever has to care about money again.

… let’s see what happens. x o x

sun-delay-gday

December 6, 2020 Posted by the writer

Namaste blahg tribe

Here is the first Sundaze post… it’s still Sunday in Manhattan so I feel like that counts… G’day SunDelay x o x

December’s kicked off, which is concluding my twelve months to mySelf.

In 2021 I’ll more proactively participate in life… but these past 12 months have been nothing less than sacred.

The way that I drastically, and somewhat regularly, restructure my life is one of my favourite inspiration buckets. I’ve met one other person who adapts the way that I do… I’m not saying there aren’t heaps of others, I’ve just happen to personally get tied up with one.

He’s a lot of fun…

I’ve been on the beach waiting for the sun to come up every morning.

To go from living in midtown Manhattan for close to a decade, back to an essentially empty island, is like anything else in life…

50/50

I’m equally appreciative of each half.

I think that’s actually a big part of who I am as an Artist.

A lot of this year has been about me figuring out how to support myself. I’ve been supporting myself with business writing for a long time now. I’ve learned things I never expected to see and have been able to take care of myself in ways I would have never imagined.

And regardless that I have two finished books, a few screenplays, some novels, and more inked poetry than I could probably find… I can’t use creative work as a get paid tactic.

I’m not really sure why. But I think a non-profit getting people to write might be something. The podcast also is taking shape, but I hate advertising so much I don’t expect it to turn lucratively like that.

Anyways… blah blah blah.

…see you Sundaze.

i’m out here glitchin

November 8, 2020 Posted by the writer

… but my screen won’t load

“LIVIN WHILE THE SUNSET”

my best friend is sick

September 16, 2020 Posted by the writer

Jose is in the hospital with septic shock. David and I have been on the phone discussing a million different ways to say, “You got this…”

You got this…

Quite a few heads came around here yesterday to read my This is Paris review where I mentioned some traumatic shit I was hit with a few years back.

Yesterday I was discussing with my psychologist certain things about me that changed after all that went down. We’re all changing every day as fluid creatures, some things leave more of a scar.

Anyways, I was telling her about how since the cops jumped me, I’ve been much more in tune with trauma in general. Not just mine, but everyone’s, all over the world.

When you survive something a bit extraordinary to what’s average, you look at the world differently I suppose.

Jose has already survived major lung surgery. He was fighting strep throat with one lung when shit turned from there. He’s in the hospital right now on the westside of Manhattan fighting for his life.

No one can visit him because of corona fever. I can’t even send flowers.

After the NYPD tried to kill me, the courts criticised me for going on with my life. Like, since I refused to allow a couple of NYPD c*nts destroy my life, that meant everything was fine.

Let me tell you, I refuse to let anything break my spirit, ever. I was raised like that. It’s a massive factor of what makes me.

That said, Jose being unwell is giving me a bit of a broken heart beating. I’m going to send him more texts, tell him I love him and send whatever vibes I can to the other side of the world to get him better.

I believe your spirit and soul can heal no matter what. It’s part of what I’m trying to learn to guide others with using Art and, naturally, Writing.

But human bodies can be a real drag. I’m going to go trance out and send my homie light. He’s fighting now in a way none of us could imagine. TBH it dwarfs anything I’ve ever been through. Real talk.

Cross your fingers for us.

meanwhile… on my birthday…

September 11, 2020 Posted by the writer

So getting back to daily feelings / life / facts feels…

… exciting

Last night I drank tequila beers at Eddie’s Grub House.

We took a break to wander across the street and watch the sun dip from the surf club.

I’ve been back now for about 27 months. As the ocean ate the light goodnight, new friends taught me about the volcanic remains we were toasting upon with some of the nicest smiles and most sincerity that I may have experienced ever.

I thought of so many things ringing in 42. I thought about my first husband. About the second two drop kicks I brought in as stand ins while I was torturing myself over my only taste of perfection diving south.

And then I scribbled in my notebook about how it was never perfect, how it was ten years ago now, and how mother fucking blessed I was to be drinking beers with fine gentlemen kissing the end of my birthday goodbye.

… it’s a bit exciting being back blahg family.

I’m plotting my next 12 months. There’s a lot of shit I need to get done before 43 rocks in. I’m not rushing anything… but as a virgo, I need to be god damned organised (at least in my own head).

The best thing about my 2020 birthday was spending time with people who finally made me feel home. New York City is my blood… Australia is my home.

I’m about to make a list of things to get popping this week. I have a new perspective and a refreshed state.

Here we go! Eeeeeh!!

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    FollowMeToNYC is a creative processing ground which expresses individual ideas that often change with the tides. Naturally, these ideas do not reflect those of any of my employers, or anyone else you might see me wandering down the street with one day.
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