Posts Tagged: ‘thinking’

Happy 2021… where you’ve never known

January 10, 2021 Posted by the writer

Happy 2021 blahg family! It’s time for the dreaded January detox, alas, my weekends have been a bit of a cheat. There’s definitely been one or two bloody marys going down on a Saturday.

Not gonna lie…

Today is Sunday. I walked the puppies. I exercised. I meditated. I made a fruit salad.

I think about all of the words around here regularly. The world has changed since 2009 and I’ve changed with it in some ways — other ways I’m exactly the same.

I started FollowMeToNYC as a disguise to deal with my divorce after my eight year marriage fell apart. It’s funny looking back because I never really spoke about what set all of this off… it was just “New York City NEW York City NEW YORK CITY!”

Let’s not forget that New York City is my fucking town. For life.

Life goes on and you grow. I don’t understand these people who want to live forever. I don’t. Maybe because I believe in life after death.

Regardless of anything, this webpage is special to me. Even if I’m not here as much as I used to be.

Not a lot of people know me personally. I don’t really talk to anyone regularly these days. Just my sister, my father and my best friend.

I feel stronger than I ever have. It makes my soul tingle.

My ineffable love for the world doesn’t fade, but human beings have really gone out of their way to try to fuck me over. Unsuccessfully (obvs), but consistently. Hence “tried…”

For this reason, I’ve retreated. And it’s paid off. The only thing that has ever hurt me in life has been a human. That’s nothing jaded or cynical, it’s reality. I feel like most living creatures would probably agree. Sure sometimes a natural disaster comes in and fucks us around.

But for the most part, it’s people.

In three weeks I’m moving to someplace I’ve never even visited. As the virus fucks the world around, I’m still in this small place where I don’t need to wear a mask and hardly anyone has dropped dead.

This doesn’t make me feel great considering the state of the world. However, I’m grateful and amazed for the position I’ve been in.

Separately, in my true gypsy nature, I’m moving. Again.

It will be the seventh time I’ve moved in the past three years.

… you got that?

Buckle up blahg family. I’m still here. I’ve been so quiet, but I have heaps to tell you. I’m thinking of new ways to do that.

Mostly, I’m just living my life. I’m not chasing anything anymore. I’m 42 and I can just independently exist. I don’t rely on anyone. My heart has a shield around it that took about eight years to build.

I’ve decided in 2021 I need to become a multi-millionaire so no one that I love ever has to care about money again.

… let’s see what happens. x o x

sun-delay-gday

December 6, 2020 Posted by the writer

Namaste blahg tribe

Here is the first Sundaze post… it’s still Sunday in Manhattan so I feel like that counts… G’day SunDelay x o x

December’s kicked off, which is concluding my twelve months to mySelf.

In 2021 I’ll more proactively participate in life… but these past 12 months have been nothing less than sacred.

The way that I drastically, and somewhat regularly, restructure my life is one of my favourite inspiration buckets. I’ve met one other person who adapts the way that I do… I’m not saying there aren’t heaps of others, I’ve just happen to personally get tied up with one.

He’s a lot of fun…

I’ve been on the beach waiting for the sun to come up every morning.

To go from living in midtown Manhattan for close to a decade, back to an essentially empty island, is like anything else in life…

50/50

I’m equally appreciative of each half.

I think that’s actually a big part of who I am as an Artist.

A lot of this year has been about me figuring out how to support myself. I’ve been supporting myself with business writing for a long time now. I’ve learned things I never expected to see and have been able to take care of myself in ways I would have never imagined.

And regardless that I have two finished books, a few screenplays, some novels, and more inked poetry than I could probably find… I can’t use creative work as a get paid tactic.

I’m not really sure why. But I think a non-profit getting people to write might be something. The podcast also is taking shape, but I hate advertising so much I don’t expect it to turn lucratively like that.

Anyways… blah blah blah.

…see you Sundaze.

crypto. sunday. got to.

December 2, 2020 Posted by the writer

Namaste visitors…

Every Sunday I’m going to pop in here. I’m sorry for talking shit about when I’ll be around.

My life has been here for over 10 years and I’m transient… to put it simple.

Simple isn’t something I really speak…

I wish I could boil and package all the things I haven’t said in a blahg and catch everyone up.

… but I also love being an absolute secret. It’s taken about five years to establish myself as that.

I reckon I’ve done alright…

After so much drama. More growth than words can say, I’m popping.

The only thing I wanted to do with this webpage was be honest. So I shut my mouth when I got to the point of not wanting to say anything.

It’s why I don’t really maintain any active socials.

It’s why I live on a big bad rock in the south pacific with a few other million heads.

Opposed to over 330 million USA kids.

… are you still “following”?

Lately I’m thinking about the puppies mainly… I’d like to find a co-host for my podcast.

I drank beer with a stranger before and danced in my back yard earlier.

I started beefing out a wallet because I finally took the time to start playing with cryptocurrency. Shame on me for taking so long…

I wrote blue gel ink poems and cried because Fronkles needed unexpected ear surgery which thankfully turned out alright.

I’m going to promise Sundays to these parts. I held myself in an anal regard of every day posts for years and, frankly, I struggled adjusting outside of that.

So let’s agree to Sunday.

Slowly but Sunday, I can bring us all back to my life. I’m starting to peek my head out of a hole to say Hi again.

… the story is nothing like you ever thought.

Love. Love.

… love.

inside independence

September 18, 2020 Posted by the writer

So here’s the thing, completely having my days to mySelf with no requirement of meeting anyone else’s requests or expectations is essentially the best thing to go down in the past 42 years that I’ve been strolling around.

I spend a lot of time at the beach. I take the puppies on two massive walks every day that probably accomodate about 25% of my waking hours. As of late I’m learning and practicing art therapy. I just finished my yoga practice.

After twenty years in and out of the work game, I’m extremely gracious for the time I have right now. I understand how important it is to make every day count. Because while being a big shot Manhattan executive was pretty fun and certainly educational, I don’t really want to work for anyone else anymore.

That said, I’m not wasting any time on ‘what if…’ at the moment. I’m living in the present and appreciating every day. Being able to do whatever I want every day suits me, and my plan is to put my energy toward maintaining this lifestyle.

I know what you’re thinking, anyone with that opportunity would say the same thing. And I completely agree. The difference is seizing it. Part of why my first marriage fell apart was because my husband never believed I would get to where I am right now. No matter how many times I swore to him I’d figure it out somehow.

And here I am.

My focus now is to design a methodology where people can tap into their own psyche to achieve what I’ve achieved. I feel like my last twenty years out in the big bad world have been pretty incredible. I used to put everything down to intuition, to really knowing who you are and what you want.

But I’ve realised that’s a sort of selfish way to explain how to figure out to navigate your greatest destiny and make every day amazing. Sure we all have shit days, I don’t think we really have to though. Regardless of how many I boo hoo through myself.

I was speaking with one of my favourite New York City poets yesterday about how as Artists we embrace all of our emotions, perhaps we even over dramatise them. And we have no desire to stop doing that, because then we wouldn’t be who we are.

My plan is to help other people peel away layers using Art to realign themselves and redirect their focus to really achieve their dreams. Break yourSelf down.

I reckon I’m onto something…

Oh, and PS. My best friend is starting to feel better…

words i don’t like

September 14, 2020 Posted by the writer

Being the language lover I am, there are two words I don’t like.

‘Content’ and ‘influencer’.

I don’t like the word content because it takes the essence out of the word writing.

It sounds like something to be merely consumed rather than cherished and considered, something forced instead of something thoughtful.

Content takes away from my personal definition of writing which is based on create.

The reason I don’t like the word influencer is very simple, I’m not someone who’s influenced.

In the westernised world where I tend to reside, the media seethes. I have made a very conscious, life-long effort to make moves to avoid this.

It’s why I’ve never owned a television the 20 years I’ve been out of my parents’ house. I don’t read newspapers unless I’m getting paid to.

It’s work living in my happy bubble. New York City is ironically a wonderful place to avoid the media because as much as everyone is watching the city, in the city you’re just marvelling at what’s around you.

A large part of why I elect to live in Australia is because of the tiny population, 24 million. Less people, less media, it’s a very simple equation.

Don’t get me wrong, I still like some documentaries. I still play with cameras and have fun on Tik Tok. I’m going to be starting a podcast, and once I create my writing program, I’ll have to have some type of strategy to share what I create with as many people as I possibly can.

In the meantime, I’m going to keep hiding out with my three dogs chasing waves and kissing sun.

No content, and certainly no influencers.


Matalan
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    FollowMeToNYC is a creative processing ground which expresses individual ideas that often change with the tides. Naturally, these ideas do not reflect those of any of my employers, or anyone else you might see me wandering down the street with one day.
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