Posts Tagged: ‘thinking’

full moon

January 5, 2015 Posted by the writer

I dipped away from the farm to my parents’ place today. It’s a full moon. I spent the afternoon meditatingIMG_7231 and contemplating. It’s a freezing night, but the moon is so bright – its shine in the window turned the room silver.

To say that my life “changed” over the past few weeks is beyond an understatement. And while I am someone who accepts and embraces every change that comes – adjustment is just a part of living a life on Earth.

Escaping to my parents’ place has become my ultimate place to center, there’s nowhere else like it. Hopefully, now that I’m up on the farm – I can contribute to creating an environment that offers other people the peace and serenity I find when I come here.

Living in another country for ten years, the person that I was with, who was a local of that country, never understood anything about the sacrifice of being away from people IMG_7236you’re closest and most familiar with. After the incident that happened last April, which I’m still not supposed to discuss for “legal reasons”, I’m thankful to be able to come here and steady on my feet when I need to.

Choosing to leave Manhattan wasn’t just “peace out city”, I also walked away from a window of my “career” that just won’t be attained anywhere else. I’m meditating on making the most of it in the upcoming opportunities I manifest.

One thing is certain, I’m not who I was leading up to April. I haven’t changed for the better or worse. If I let myself think I changed for worse, then I let what happened control my life more than it already has.

Apparently I have post-traumatic stress disorder. It’s a bit scary sometimes, meditating helps.

I hope everyone in my parts enjoyed the silver moon under the frigid sky tonight.

a year of every day

January 2, 2015 Posted by the writer

Sometimes, when I think back to the first three years of building this wordly landIMG_7321 I’ve created – it amazes me that I was diligent enough to post every day.

This year, I reckon I’ll have another crack. The only thing to ever inhibit daily posting was emotional imbalance brought on by life’s harder blows.

I don’t really have any hard blows at the moment… I’m essentially in a Writer’s Paradise with a collection of furry creatures that enjoy eating apples out of my open palms.

If you’ve never fed a thoroughbred before, do try if you get a chance. And I’m still swooning over the lap pig I’ve been spending my early mornings with.

There is a true essence in not chasing anything, simply just residing. Before now, I’ve never had the opportunity to do that. Earlier today, the joy of skipping through the woods with clippers and cleaning up trails for fellow explorers took¬†me back to my happiest childhood years.

IMG_7356Two years ago I was reeling from a hideous breakup. Two months ago I was sitting at board tables writing scripts for people with multi-million dollar salaries. Today, I’m on thirty-something acres beneath a sky that seems bluer than I recall.

I’m embracing the position I’m in. After less than a week of being where I am, working outside and writing my heart out – my olive skin tone is a shade deeper from the winter winds; the curl in my long, thick hair is expanding its wave; and the green of my eyes is shimmering at the idea of future spring months, when I’ll plant gardens and wander around barefoot.

I’ll be back to tell you more tomorrow…

#poembomb

December 3, 2014 Posted by the writer

IMG_6197To cheer me up during a somewhat solemn period, I was blessed to have a companion accompany me yesterday to #poembomb New York City. This entailed copying some book pages and scampering around Manhattan to share some of the words that have held my bones together over the years.

We swooped through subway stations; around the east and west IMG_6215village; down to Tribeca and back uptown. I’ve ranted in the past that being heard is more enticing than being published. Yesterday, I’m pretty sure I was heard; at least by a handful of my fellow few million inhabitants roaming around this island. And this is just the beginning, we’re going to carry-on with the #poembomb antics here forward.

Being in this transitional in-between job period is super eye-opening. I’m learning a lot about myself. It’s wild being a balanced Writer. Balanced, to me, IMG_6159means I can write quarterly commentary for Chiefs on Wall Street in between short story / novel / poetry-ville… and also speeches for top politicians and presidents of boards.

It’s bizarre that the fact that I dabble in both professional and raw words intimidates some job prospects. It’s hard for a small crowd of creatures to accept that, yes, while I do enjoy a bite-your-face line most of the time – I can also blow dry my hair straight and be as conservative as is required to deliver a particular barrel of messages.IMG_6190

At the end of the day, to me, personally – it makes more sense to support myself writing for a business. This is a clearly defined requirement. My job is consultant, I’m told what’s needed to be written – I produce. Creatively, my process doesn’t work this way. Creatively… I never know how I’ll process a day. But one thing stands strong and true, I’ll always express myself in my own time, however I choose.

Interestingly, this makes me risky according to some places of work. Simply because, most organizations aren’t used to employing someone capable of satisfying such drastically different sides… I think that makes me an Entrepreneur.

Back to job applying, book writing and poem bombing. Praise Goddess for the life I live. Regardless of how I sook… I never lose site of how lucky I really, really am.

 

full circle

November 29, 2014 Posted by the writer

It occurred to me today while I was desperately seeking my next Writer gig while simultaneously throwing up in my mouth – I’ve really come full circle.

I kicked off this adventure determined to get to New York City and independently support myself writing. Miraculously, I did that. I did it to the extent where I could even pay for my own apartment smack center in midtown Manhattan… something I never imagined I could do alone.

Then, as fate has it, everything was pulled out from under me. According to FullSizeRender-4my calculations, I’ve got about 90 days for something to pop. After that, life as I know it will essentially self-destruct.

I’m trying to embrace the chaos. Truth be told, if I didn’t have the puppies in tow – I’d be on the next flight back to Australia. However, this whole grown-up / responsibility thing simply won’t allow for that right now.

Having co-existed in a marriage for as long as I did, doing everything alone is hard. Generally speaking, I’m much better off than I was with an emotionally abusive husband. But I could certainly do without being snowed under in rent ¬†checks, power bills and all the rest of the lot.

Ce la vi…

So I’m basically back where I started. Except home-base in the city is in full effect. This is helpful. My plan is to alternate between job applying and creative writing spinning. Back and forth back and forth.

Life is a bit of whirlwind at the moment. But I guess if it wasn’t, it wouldn’t be my life. I’m just focussing on staying positive and keeping my head above water. One day I’m sure I’ll look back at this phase and think, “Damn, that was a pretty close call…”

 

ok to not be

November 28, 2014 Posted by the writer

Namaste blog tribe

FullSizeRender-2 I received an interesting “thank you” email yesterday. Sometimes the cult contacts me and my heart gets all melt-like…

In this particular instance, the person expressed their pleasure at visiting FollowMeToNYC parts because it’s “real”. This is by far the greatest compliment I could receive and I even got a bit teary over my Chai. (more…)

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    FollowMeToNYC is a creative processing ground which expresses individual ideas that often change with the tides. Naturally, these ideas do not reflect those of any of my employers, or anyone else you might see me wandering down the street with one day.
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