Posts Tagged: ‘truth’

perspective. training.

April 9, 2020 Posted by the writer

Namaste blahg tribe

To keep things in perspective, I thought it worth bringing light today to the fact that I have no family on my favourite continent. And three of my five friends are in New York City.

In 2002 I was here for a wonderful love that lasted until it was finished which is when I started this webpage, to mend my broken heart.

I’ve literally been divorced three times since post number one, let that seep in.

As a little girl in the 80’s with four big sisters, everything was boys and love. I wanted all of that. Thought I had it for a minute, but what I had was an interesting phase of spiritual progression which concluded when my then partner ceased progressing.

I wrote three poetry books about it back then. I never think of him anymore.

I used to thrive on co-dependency. Not because I ever felt like I needed anyone, it was just really nice believing someone was there.

I’ve ranted over the years about my spiritual practice, how my ingrained belief since birth is the blunt understanding that we exist as one making it impossible to therefore be alone.

My heart extends to anyone who is sick right now, lost a loved one or entangled in quarantine chaos. My life hasn’t actually changed much to date. Don’t get me wrong, I understand this virus means nothing will ever be the same – but at the moment, I’m living pretty regularly.

Training a seven week old puppy when you have a 13 year old and 8 year old dog is real talk. I’m happy to be full-time home because I wouldn’t be able to give any of them the time and attention to adjust if I was, say, running around midtown Manhattan hustling words.

All of that word hustling brought me back home and I couldn’t be happier. I like to think the light of happiness can outshine any level of darkness that splats across our canvas.

So on that note, I’ll keep doing my thing. Meditating, manifesting, and most importantly — staying mindful. Oh, and writing.

… always writing. Never get it twisted. x o x

extra. so much.

March 13, 2020 Posted by the writer

I got divorced again last week. Lucky number three…

I have made new friends who I’m helping. I may have found a third dog.

Every time I get this happy… which has only happened two times before…

I have k(NO)w

De –

– sire

To say any(thing).

One love.

Ps:

my anxiety of advertising

January 31, 2020 Posted by the writer

I really can’t handle advertising. I don’t reckon advertising is something that overjoys anyone — but I feel like my loathing is next level.

Since leaving the household where I was raised twenty years ago, in the middle of the night to sleep on a New York City floor with some welcoming strangers I met the night prior — I’ve never owned a television. Televisions are advertising boxes that I cannot personally endure.

Part of why my web presence has faded since firing up ten years back is because computers have followed the same suit. These days I read very little online because the assault of advertising has an ineffable effect on me.

I’m a free spirit with an open mind and I enjoy making my own decisions and being guided by my free will. When any type of brand or foreign influence intervenes, I tend to plug my ears and squint my eyes.

It’s over the top, I know.

This essentially sums it up.

Furthermore, this issue prevents me from any online monetization effort. I have a stack of acquaintances getting bread off of the commercials shoved in their YouTube videos or the google ads woven in their webpages. And trust me, I envy the “who cares” approach. Maybe one day I’ll get over it.

A word that makes me throw up in my mouth the most these days is “influencers”. I perceive an “influencer” as a human advertisement. I think this is even more disgusting than a corporate commercial, because these people are using an audience who adores them to pimp flat tummy tea or whatever trash pays. It’s impersonal and self-centred.

Smart phones are essentially mini television tracking devices that have changed the world in a way far beyond me. And while I no doubt require the access of certain technologies as part of my career, I try to keep it at that.

So in closing, FollowMeToNYC will remain ad-free. Shout out to the YouTube millionaires who have literally banked millions off of ad revenue. It literally blows my mind.

my social society

October 30, 2018 Posted by the writer

Social media is some ill shit. It makes people money while simultaneously destroying lives.

Something I struggle with as a Writer is that as a creature – I don’t want anyone following, watching or absorbing anything outside of “their” our field.

Man.

Ever since my youtube sensation best friend killed himself, I’ve paid more attention to how people follow each other in particular realms.

I’ve seen asshole Writers, who are literal assholes in real life, get crazy global book deals that feed off of likes and shares.

Fuck that.

I innocently walked into this webpage about ten years ago in the middle of major heartbreak looking for someone to talk to.

I never needed anyone to watch.

Part of why I’ve shut up the past couple of years is because I don’t envy anyone who gets money off of being paid attention to. I understand this is a contradiction, and trust me; I’m a prideful contradiction at best.

I just have a weird things I get pleased from. Private love. Dogs. Ink on a page.

Music.

These are things that make me sway. I hate followers. Don’t share this page, do me a favour.

It makes me happy I can make money and get by in the most ordinary way. Otherwise, I’d just be another asshole in the spotlight. Where would you rather be?

Variety is the spice of life.

#writerslife

watch this for ten dollars

October 30, 2018 Posted by the writer

watch (this for ten) dollars

I’m married to a veteran. He was in four wars. Well, he was
In three.
He was sent to Iraq twice.
And the best thing about it is…
The best thing…
No one asks me any fucking questions.
But when
It comes
To him. Everyone sighs and
Is concerned
Like they aren’t
Thankful this mother
Fucker put it all out. Just so
The rest can Pro –
Test. Comp…
Lane. I stay in mine
And he doesn’t give
A single
Any.
I was married
Three times. Lucky.
But the number;
The Spanish One
From Spain
The individual
Who never said
Anything was still
Not good enough
To try
To claim
My wild heart.
(i hoped so
much)
Reality television
Eats souls deep
While we are a —
Round. We circle
So where
The fuck
Were you.

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    FollowMeToNYC is a creative processing ground which expresses individual ideas that often change with the tides. Naturally, these ideas do not reflect those of any of my employers, or anyone else you might see me wandering down the street with one day.
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