mandatory retreat You show up unannounced again, three days after I say I can’t see you anymore and six weeks after we meet. I would have told you not to come. But you caught me off guard, like the day I first saw you. There are things that I do and things that I have done that you will never know. It’s why you can’t keep coming here. It’s why I never should have agreed to see you twice. You think things about me that are not true. I...
directions of destruction i cut my wrist. vertical. crashing. slay. horizontal. a lay down way to say these are the ways that i hurt myself. pay. choking descriptions of “it’s a bad day”. i am telling you what i never speak. step into an orb of utter. alone. one impossible notion. being weak. i’m trying to explain. i know no one. i’d rather be written off. forgotten. i was recalled once. result? abandon. realize, i stopped imagining...
In the midst of stumbling on and off my face lately, I fell through the door yesterday to my very quiet apartment and was immediately unhappy. I kind of reckon Artists have a unique pain thresh hold. And since I hold on to this "every low is followed by a fabulous happiness" I really make a legit effort to limp through. However, some days I suck at it. And yes, it is still a traumatic reaction to an ex-partner's uselessness. I've finally come to...
Lately when I obsess over a new music act, I end up finding a slew of tracks to fill my days with. Like during my recent Moto Boy and Allen Stone tangents, for example. Sia has proven no different. After my Chandelier rant yesterday, I went to work and listened to the whole album - which is how I came across Elastic Heart. This is the song you want to scream in your ex's face after you're let down, again. I'd definitely like to scream it in my...
First of all, Sia: Chandelier ... you're welcome. Last night over Shiraz with my girlfriend, she put me onto Sia. Apparently Sia is from Australia, I can't lie - I never heard of her the nine years I spent living there, but I live a deliberately sheltered existence in many ways. Which sounds peculiar considering I live in midtown Manhattan... I digress. Chandelier by Sia is my currently favorite song. This usually changes every two or three...