i may have accidentally dumped my boyfriend

March 4, 2016 Posted by the writer

One thing that being divorced twice by 37 has taught me, I’m a shit girlfriend. Regardless of my husband collection being utterly dysfunctional, I like being married. I do not, however, enjoy being a girlfriend.

Being a girlfriend has all of these stupid rules like being available and knowing when someone will swing through. I have to remember when to shave my legs and straighten my hair and clean my apartment.

Wives don’t do that. At least I didn’t. I made lunches and stayed around. But yeah, I’m definitely not someone to take marriage advice from.

So anyways, last night I saw my boyfriend who I didn’t seen in three days and was SO excited to see him that I got really anxious and may or may not have accidentally dumped him.

Since my first divorce, when my heart was ripped out of my throat, tossed to the ground and stomped into Earth – I have a hard time connecting with people.

In any event, I’m going to work half day today and get a facial. I’ll pretend like I don’t really care if I accidentally dumped my boyfriend, even though I kind of do. I’ll shut my phone off and probably write a lot. These are all the games that you have to play when you’re dating someone.

Being married is so much better.

Alas, in two weeks I’m going on vacation. I’m getting on a big boat and sailing away again. Winter arrived really late in the city this season. Hopefully all I need is a bit of sun on my face.

About the writer

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gretchen's brain is preoccupied with words.

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