wait/weight of matters

Sometimes it’s disenchanting being a broke Writer like me. Certain days I find myself alternating blank stares between a novel, the wall, some poetry, the wall, a children’s book… you catch my drift…

Other days, like today, I wake up determined. Not determined to get Penguin books to mass produce my words or determined to submit a dozen pieces to literary journals for rejection. I wake up determined to be myself – to write the way I want to and believe that somehow, within all of this chaos, I’m going to swing a survival staying honest.

I’m not ready to stop trying…

wait/weight of matters

someone. walking down the street tonight.
whistling. being approached.
I bet you’ve got a beautiful smile. Smile more.
and he doesn’t
know. i in a way. wanting you.
too. over the top. suitors.
following me across the front of your house.
but you aren’t there.
Where are you going? What’s your rush?
he walks quicker. after getting the point.
i am in front. closed eyes.
recall. before you
vanished. faster than
my time to accept. altered. because
the shape of his stride
the shake of his shoulders
the shift of his hips
during a cut short encounter. has me
in a dark corner of 1am. while he carries out
taken. he isn’t one to contain
yet locked away. twenty eight days.
Of course I would be here. Why would you think that?
in a world of judgment and assumption.
locked lip guarantees. unkissed lips
saturating words
of these thoughts
of this belief
of this guarantee.
that. like a one time. chance.
you will return.

2 thoughts on “wait/weight of matters

  1. “Why should a writer expect reward or the appreciation of any group of people or any state? The only reward is in doing your work well and that is enough reward for any [person].”

    Ernest Hemingway
    Selected Letters, p.419

    1. Amen Michael!! I agree about the ‘reward’ concept. Still, it’s disheartening that being able to survive by working hard at being true to oneself seems to be becoming a historical theory…

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