potential of possibility
he came and went. this style. of existence.
not knowing my stance that… everyone leaves.
i stopped my heart before it could commence;
rejecting this world for what i believe.
if he sees one truth, then let it be me.
his pieces snapped in. my kaleidoscope
gaze. he stared into me. what does he see?
endeavoring to mask my faith. my hope…
in my headspace walls, none of it matters.
i have rainbows of ways to deal and cope;
perceiving days as chaos and chatter.
looking around to only see absent.
with claws still dug in that some things are meant.
Namaste blog tribe
Most of our loyal cult affiliates are aware that my birthday never goes for only one day. It usually ebbs and flows for a week-ish and I spend the month of September shouting out the whole being born concept. I’ve always just felt if there’s one thing to celebrate, it’s your birthday.
Meanwhile, I’ve developed this affinity for bottle popping. You see, if you’re a feisty female ready to go out whenever, New York City club promoters take notice. That said, I’ve recently surrounded myself with a handful of Manhattan’s finest hailing from Italy to Brooklyn and a few spots in between.
There’s something enthralling about your phone sporadically igniting seven days a week with messages like, “Le Souk tonight? 11pm walk in. Bottles all night.” Such messages are often accompanied by a secret password you tell the doorman to skip the line and walk right inside.
It’s a bit pimped, really. (more…)
Another birthday is upon us blog family! I’m hiding in the country with my folks – writing stories, laying low. Thinking about this southern gentleman that doesn’t seem to leave my thoughts.
I’ve had the most wonderful day. I’ve been lying in the grass, writing poems, interacting with tribal members worldwide.
I must say, out of all the countries and continents that I was blessed to receive birthday love from… nothing beats the call from one of my favorite Aussie family members/soulmates which concluded with, “HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!”
My smile stretched and heart ached.
Today, I spent my birthday with my parents and learned a new story. When my parents told my father’s father, Papa, that they named me Gretchen – he was very excited.
“I always wanted to name one of my children Gretchen, my wife wouldn’t let me.”
Before I left Australia, on my way back to New York City, my Papa delivered messages through other mediums. I loved hearing from him again today. Regardless of being born during his life, he passed away before I ever physically reached him. Every trace of connection between the two of us is sacred.
I am so elated to be in the country. The stars pop brighter, the moon is bigger, the world gets quieter – thoughts become more clear.
I’m going to spend the next few days lying in the sun, spinning words. Year 36, here I come.
It occured to me this morning that last Monday, which was Labor Day here in the States, was my three year anniversary of being back.
In the past three years, aside from all the junky things that occurred in the midst of a nervous breakdown that my ex-husband packaged up for me on the way out the door; some of my most favorite things also happened.
I landed a perfect job as Writer Extraordinare; I managed to swing my own one bedroom in Hell’s Kitchen with two furry creatures; I’m halfway through “the” novel which will be the strongest I’ve done to date; and I have written some of the best poetry I’ve done, which will have it’s own “lost words” special edition coming after Novel is complete. Oh, and also, someone appeared in my life a few weeks ago, seemingly the most legit spirit I’ve seen.
It’s been a hell of a three years. (more…)
the way that we (started)
the first night. he was in my bed. i blinked –
a 3am stir. my discovery
painted my immunity in fresh ink.
snapped look connection. our recovery.
a cool tail of summer brushing our skin,
swimming in oceans, playing in gardens –
uncertainty perishes. now. begins.
what falseness presents, fate always pardons.
rolling shoulders as a way to lighten
up. my focus rose and set. on master
manifestation. the way he heightens
my world, time stops. eradicate faster.
i awoke next to someone. blue eyed dream.
return to realize. unravel seams.
So… I just had the best weekend of my life. Hands down. I danced to this in my living room when I got out of bed before. I haven’t even had coffee yet.