Ever since one of my best friends, Nathan, killed himself 18 months ago – I simply have not been the same.
Nathan and I were on this entirely different level, you see? I wrote my first poem inspired by him, How Far Gold Extends, in 2010.
When I tell people how he did it, how Nathan stabbed himself twenty times, they cringe and say they don’t want me to talk about it. And I understand how no one would want to hear such a macrebe story. But, I guess when you’re in my position… and the only thing you see in an energy is just that… a golden violet vibration of love…
Imagining such self-inflicted atrocites becomes literally impossbile.
The only thing I know for certain anymore is that he does not want one single person to think he’s far away. But I guess I’ve known that for a minute.
I’m in the midst of retreiving a poetry collaboration I did with Nathan. Some crazy bitch that lived with me briefly erased all of my old youtube videos… long, boring story.
Go tell someone you love them. Make fucking sure they know exactly how much they matter to you. Otherwise you might not ever forgive yourself. Regardless.