temperance
Many of my most valuable lessons have come during meditation. You are not the type to meditate. You think it’s a waste of time and suppose all to know comes about during daily routines.
I am fiercely disciplined.
If I did not choose to balance daily happenings, life would be chaos. You wouldn’t mind that though. You find something romantic about chaos. You’ve told me that on more than one occasion.
You and I are different in some ways. So different.
My father continued speaking to me.
Take better care of yourself. We have awaited this moment.
He started appearing in my dreams. I was angry about this. Dreams are your place. Not his. He missed too much of my life to suddenly step in. I resented him. I started chewing my fingernails and taking sleeping pills.
It was the first time this life where what I understood did not matter. Emotion took over.
Why are you doing this?
What I knew and what I cared about were split in two. I needed you to be there. I needed to tell you. It was too much pressure.
You shouldn’t take this personally.
I decided that I had waited long enough. I had been tracking you for a very long time. Where you were living, where you worked.
I set off to confront you.
Such a deep dynamic between grief and love, our aversion to pain and our longing to heal that for which we grieve. A wonderful read… thanks.
Thank you so much Blake. The multi-dimensional emotional roller coaster that love evokes inspires much of my writing. No stronger force…