Namaste blah-g tribe
As much as I’ve been on-ing about my love life recently, terrible things started happening about four days ago.
First, a colleague I’m very fond of is moving on. I’m extremely proud this person found a new place to strut their writing talent, but I’ll miss seeing my friend every day.
Speaking of friends, I had a huge falling out with my best friend when he decided to contact one of my ex-boyfriends – why, I’m still uncertain. But it certainly pissed me off.
Furthermore, there are private, health-related family things I’ve been limping through for about a month or so.
I combined this with the way that my relationship is starting to feel like it’s “long distance”, and my mood for the past 80 hours or so has been harrowing.
I’ve essentially spent that past three days feeling bad for myself. And yes, I’ll snap out of it. No, this isn’t one of the top zillion problems on Earth. I’m just ever aware of my emotional state, even when it’s shit. I don’t understand humans that run around trying to portray how great everything is ALL the time. Things aren’t always great. Sometimes, they fucking suck. And at the end of the day, all you have is you and whatever you believe to get you through. I’ve learned to face some utterly painful shit. It built who I am.
The worst thing about going through terrible things is believing no one else does. I realize every creature on Earth experiences certain levels of trauma. And we all process it in our own way.
It’s unfortunate sometimes I process trauma cutting ties. At least, since I’ve been back in Manhattan I have. Since my divorce. Fortunately, your strongest roots can’t snap – which is why I’m counting sleeps until Australia.
Thirteen sleeps.