this internal. dwelling. top ten.

Love to you blog tribe.

IMG_7733I’m still internal. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I look around for the nearest sledgehammer to break the crystal globe I’ve been hibernating in the last few months.

It’s interesting to reach a point, after maintaining a “blah-g” for so many years, where I’ve literally retracted for an overwhelming number of reasons.

Top 10 Reasons I’ve Crept Into “Me”

10. The event that happened last April, which I can’t talk about, that keeps me up.

9. Books. Poetry books, novel, words spinning around me that need to be arranged.

8. Losing a sister. I started this blah-g with four sisters, I acknowledge three these days. It keeps me up some nights.

7. Winter. This winter has been a record breaking bitch. Since I returned to the states IMG_7696 three and a half years back, I’ve complained about winter. It got so bad this year, it finally beat me into silence.

6. My ex-husband. I should have been over it by now.

5. Work. I need a new job. I have a lot of prospects. I’m busy chasing the next gig.

4. Earth. I struggle on this planet, I used to be better at painting a smile. There’s too much injustice. Humans are not something I easily process.

3. Faith. My spirituality will always be everything because it is all encompassing. After the shock my divorce brought, and losing the one special thing. I’m coming back to me through silence and meditation – finally.

2. Secrets. So much has happened in the past 12 months that are secret. After spilling my existence daily for so long, I don’t really like having secrets. But I understand why, sometimes you just have to.

IMG_77101. Truth. I’ve always known that the most honest concepts and components of existence remain in silence – that’s why I just haven’t had a lot to say lately.

In all of this silence… I’m working my ass off blog family, as always – so it’s not to be twisted. I need to recycle the three poetry books I wrote and never paid attention to. I have  a new “lost files” poetry book waiting to be published. My novel expands regularly. And I have sexy New York City jobs that tease me on the horizon daily. Oh, and most importantly – puppies. Nothing has ever been more important to me than my furry spirit guides that take care of me. Sometimes, I can be a real handful.

The silence is paying off. I miss and love you. More soon… x

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