Yesterday had many moments that sucked. It sucked when I tried to edit my anthology and became too frustrated to see; it sucked when I opened my script and couldn’t read because I had gotten myself so worked up already; and it sucked when I attempted to express my dismay as an Artist in a dramatic monologue that concluded with ‘IT’S NOT A HOBBY!!’
Something’s gotta give.
When I was in the States, I had an entire gaggle of tribal members to hold me up during my nervous breakdowns. This isn’t the case now.
I stood in my pathetic galley kitchen cutting up vegetables sobbing over the chopping board saying things to myself like, ‘Fuck it, I’m just not going to try any more.’ This is usually when people who have known you your entire life and/or other Artists & cult members in return say, ‘But what about this that you’re working on… or what about that….’
Not today blog family.
I felt very angry at the world for some reason. Upset to the degree of losing thought function.
In short… today has got to be better. And if any of you can tell me what type of Writer I am so I know what to focus on… that would be great. I’m not sure how much thought control I have in between the daydreams, but I can always try.
5 thoughts on “moments that suck”
You know, there are days you just have to say fuck it, and let it go. Days like that you just put down the pen and paper and go do something else entirely. Home demolition comes to mind… 😉
you’re too right! in the future i need to learn to recognize ‘walk away’ time before people get hurt 😉
First things first – I laughed with the ITS NOT A HOBBY remark. Did you have the kitchen knife and half chopped carrot in your hand at the time? Because THAT is scary enough to be in your Zombie script 🙂
Secondly, ye can’t be a stormy sky to feed the anger and self doubt, so great pic.
Thirdly, you’re not a boxed, stacked and labelled writer! and whilst I haven’t read all of your stuff, and I’m not really qualified to say, but when I think of you I think of a cross between Salinger and Nick Hornby but with more sass, wiser insights, deeper characters and better skill ! oh and you have breasts too, don’t think they do.
HahaHaahA! a Salinger zombie sounds perfect! thank you for your kind words my friend… i totally forgot i’ve got jugs! that’s going in my next query letter :-D!!!
And you are totally correct in your vision of me ranting and waving a large knife… that’s exactly how it went down!!
oh forgot to add, as Salinger is now dead maybe he could be a zombie character in your script 🙂
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