18 years ago today

Life is a wild and wonderful ride, considering the big picture. There are a lot of fucked up pieces in between that level you down to Earth, but I still remain a glass half full kind of girl.

18 years ago today, I eloped with my first husband on Sandringham beach. 10 weeks after we met, for a relationship that would last eight years.

It’s been 10 years since I left him. I never looked back. But I’ve grown in such amazing ways throughout my life, sometimes I nod toward the time we spent together.

In the past 10 years, I did everything I told my husband I was going to do, and more.

Thinking about it, the only valuable thing in the relationship we had turned out being completely useless in the end.

I live an extraordinary life. I spent awhile trying to say I’m like everyone else, but I’m not. Neither was my husband. We did amazing things together. We literally changed people’s lives, and people found me and changed mine. Or enhanced it, is probably better wording.

If I didn’t have my best friend, who I’ve known since I was four years old, I’m not sure I’d have my wits about me the same way.

Things that happen in my life are perpetually unbelievable. They always have been. But when you’re accustomed to it, it’s not as shiny.

So I guess that brings me to my moment…

I live in paradise. I still write about money. Such a funny thing. In the galaxy of my soul, I don’t give a fuck about money.

I believe because that is so true, I’ve never worried about it. Money doesn’t make you happy. Trust and faith can if you’re lucky.

But what do I know?

So my moment…

I live in the centre of water. I swam in something called the Wooloweyah lagoon last week. There is ocean and river and lakes completely consuming the small patch of grass I occupy with my three dogs.

I love them so much. Lily is nearly 14.

I couldn’t have planned my life any better. I have this relationship with my intuition that has taken me all over the world. Australia, Italy, Spain, Amsterdam, Belgium, Mexico, Central America, Berlin, Ireland, Vanuatu, Tahiti, midtown Manhattan, South Korea…

At one point I was writing for a Dutch gentleman who was delivering the speeches I was spilling in 237 countries.

I’ve done all kinds of shit.

I rescued a dog on 9th Avenue in Hell’s Kitchen, smuggled it into a luxury door man building and then brought him to Australia, for example.

Curiously, this website came from heartbreak. It’s why I published three poetry books in three years.

When I stopped talking to my husband, I started typing on this webpage. Every single day. And somehow, that got me from a farmstead Queenslander into a luxury high-rise a few blocks from Grand Central.

The weird thing is, I never expected to be married to my husband forever. I obviously knew much better from the first day we met.

There was a farm at some point

I used to think I was creating really great work around here. I liked some of the stories and I’m proud about some of the poems.

Then I realised all of the writing I’ve done since my last poetry book. I came back to Australia to sort it out.

Naturally, me being me, it took two years to cool out. I had the weird spy that was following me and then the bikey boyfriend with fire eyes who used to make my toes curl.

I think I’m finally relaxed.

I ate Australian pizza with a born and bred local who wears the tides on his wrist and rocks swimming trunks like they’re shorts.

I drank tequila with someone who has a peyote cactus growing in front of his caravan and jumped in the lake under the Milky Way last Friday.

I write it all down. I promise.

2 thoughts on “18 years ago today

  1. Gretchen, long time Yes? speak that should be ‘no’ but my witch of a teenage daughter has automatically changed the word ‘no to Yes?!!) Anyway I dropped in to see today from housebound Dubln after coming across your poetry boom in the bookcase and dipping in..remember the line ‘my rooted earth requires nothing’ ?? ?. Good to see you’re well. Cheers

    1. Namaste my friend Cathal! I love that line hopped out at you 🙂 I’m finally starting to dissect the poems out of my inky bookshelf. I think I’m finally ready to put out volume 4. I trust you’re still writing and happy to hear your daughter is figuring it all out :))) x

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